Our Way

How could she go to a bar and say these things when I begged her for an answer all night? How could she? I get a lump in my throat just thinking about it. How could she even think such a thing?

The piercing sound of a flat line echoes throughout the room, and I jump to my feet and hit the call button.

“Justin,” I cry. “Justin, no!” I tear his blankets down to get access to his chest as nurses come running from all directions.

“Stay with me, Justin,” I whisper. “You stay with me.”

Nathan’s alarm goes off at 5:00 a.m., and I watch him stir. I’ve been watching him since he got home and fell into an exhausted sleep. He didn’t get home until two hours ago.

His eyes find me in the darkness, and I smile softly. “Hi.”

“Hi.”

I reach over and cup his face in my hand. “Where were you last night?”

His eyes drop to the blankets. “I lost a patient.”

My face falls. “I’m sorry.” I know how hard this hits him.

“Me, too,” he whispers sadly.

He tries to sit up, and I reach for him. “Nathe.” He turns back to me.

“Can you just…?” I shrug softly. “Hold me for a minute.”

His face softens, and he takes me into his arms. We cling to each other. It’s as if the tighter we hold on, the more we can chase the demons away.

“I love you,” I whisper. “So much. You know that, don’t you?”

“I love you, too,” he murmurs into my hair.

I want to tell him that we can work this out—we need to try harder—but I don’t want to force him into anything if his heart is aching for another.

I need to let him go.

I pull back to look into his big, blue eyes, and they seem so sad. I brush the hair back from his forehead. “Are you okay?” I whisper.

“I will be.” He leans in and kisses me softly.

When will he be okay? When he leaves?

We kiss again and again, and it’s filled with regret and sadness.

It’s an emotional overload for both of us.

He rolls over on top of me and falls between my legs as we kiss. Our bodies desperately need the comfort of each other. Needing the connection that’s been missing. He slowly slides the side of his shaft through my lips… but I’m dry.

So, dry. A first.

“You’ll need something.”

He reaches over and grabs some lube from the top drawer. He massages it in, and then he slowly rises above me and slides in deep.

Our breaths catch, and we stare at each other.

His body is deep inside mine.

I stare up at him as emotion overwhelms me.