“Time for what?” he snaps as he stands and marches into the kitchen.
I run after him like a puppy. “You can sort out your baggage with Robert, and then we can start afresh. We moved in together too quickly, Nathan.”
“What?” he explodes. “I don’t have any baggage with Robert.”
“Yes, you do, Nathan. You’ve been distant ever since he came here.” His eyes hold mine.
“And I know you would never leave me… so.”
His face falls as if having an epiphany. “So, you’re going to step aside for him?”
My eyes fill with tears. “I can’t compete with Robert. What do you want me to do?”
“I want you to fight for us, goddamn it!” he cries. “Why can’t you compete with Robert? Tell me why?” He demands.
“If you want a man…” My voice breaks. “I can’t compete.”
His face falls, and he steps back from me as if I’ve just delivered a physical blow. “And there it is again,” he whispers.
“What do you mean?”
“You are the last person.” He sneers in a whisper. “That I ever thought would judge me based on who I’ve loved in the past. That would gauge my capability to love based on what you think it should be.” His face falls. “I thought you knew me.”
“That’s not what I mean.”
“You’re never going to drop this.” He shakes his head as if totally convinced.
“Nathan.”
“There’s always going to be this seed of doubt in your mind. I’ll never just be the person who loves you. I’ll always be a guy who gave up men for you.” His eyes fill with tears. “Love is love… until it isn’t.”
My eyes search his. “That’s not what I mean.”
“That’s what you said,” he whispers.
“I can go to New York and… and give us both some time… maybe,” I stammer.
“I don’t need time!” he cries. “I need you!”
“I know you don’t see it at the moment but we need this time apart. I’ll be home every week, and we can make it work. It’s just a few months and then I’ll be back. We got together so quickly. It was a whirlwind, and I need to know that I’ve given you the space to contemplate your future.”
“No.”
“Nathan.”
“I said no. You go to New York and that is it. We are fucking done.”
“Stop it!” I yell. “Listen to my reasoning.”
“I’m done listening to you, Eliza.” He picks up his keys.
“Where are you going?” I cry in a panic.
“Out.”
“When will you be home?”
“After you go to New York.”