He frowns as he relives the memory. “Amelie was in my room, and she had a robe on.”
I hold my hand up in a stop signal. I can’t hear this.
“Tash … I don’t know what happened. One minute I was sitting on the bed, the next thing she was on top of me.”
I slam my hands over my ears. Stop it … stop it … stop it.
“Tash, I promise you. As soon as I realised what was happening I pushed her off me. I told her I was in love with you.”
I stand still with my hands over my ears and yet I can hear every sordid detail he is explaining to me in IMAX.
The caustic tears burn my face as they roll down my cheeks.
“Natasha, I swear to you. It was just once and it went for one minute. There was no emotion. She lied to hurt you … which in turn hurts me.”
My head drops as I think.
“I was furious with her. I trusted her and she … she forced herself onto me. Tash … please,” he whispers.
I can’t talk. If I say anything, I know I will take him back. I love him just too much.
“Natasha … please talk to me.”
I shake my head.
“I had a massive fight with Amelie. I was so mad at her. I got dressed and got the hell out of there. Then I went home. I was so disgusted with myself, I watched the movies of the two of us together all weekend and then I took drugs like a fucking idiot.
I had no idea you were coming back and yet I was still mortified at what I had done.”
My eyes hold his, but I hold my tongue. Don’t say anything … don’t say anything.
“Tash. Please,” he whispers again.
I turn and walk to the bathroom and close the door behind me. I get my phone from my back pocket and I text Cameron.
Get the hell over here.
I try to calm myself for a minute and then I flush the toilet, wash my hands and re-enter the room.
He rushes me again and holds me tight in an embrace. “Precious, I swear. I love you more than anything. We can get over this. We can go to counselling, whatever it takes. We are stronger than this. We love each other too much. We have been through too much.”
I sob out loud onto his chest. How do women do this? How do they find the strength to walk away from someone they love so desperately?
“Speak to me,” he asks.
I stay silent.
“Tash, please. Speak to me.”
I shake my head into his chest. If I say anything … it will be I love you, I need you. He holds me silently in his arms, and for a long time, we say nothing.
A knock sounds at the door. His head snaps to the direction of the door.
“Come in,” I yell.
He frowns at me. “Natasha … no,” he whispers as I close my eyes in pain.
Cameron opens the door. His eyes find Joshua.