He nodded. “We should go find Amy.”
As we walked, he put his hand on the small of my back again. I doubted he thought anything of the small gesture, but it made my heart race and my skin flush. I was hungry, starving for his touch. My self-imposed celibacy had never seemed so impossible to sustain until now.
Chapter Four
Amy was staying behind and leaving much later with Colin, so I found myself sharing the back seat of Jason’s car on the ride back home. I stared out the window, my hands clasped in my lap, trying to ignore the fact that his presence alone was an assault on my senses. Everything about him seemed made to turn me on; the faint hint of his cologne, the way he spread his fingers on his lap and tapped them silently, the fact that he was just an arm’s length away…
I let out a sigh and felt him turn in my direction. “You okay?”
I turned my gaze toward him—big mistake. In the dim light inside the car, the intermittent lights from streetlamps and headlights outside played up the sculpted planes and angles of his face. He looked like a Greek god, a Roman sculpture, an avenging angel from a Renaissance painting. I closed my eyes for a moment to get a hold of myself.
“Sure, I’m fine.”
He gave me a look like he didn’t believe me. “Why did you move out of your last place?”
“Lease expired and I decided to get something closer to work. It was also too big for just me.”
“Too big?” He laughed. “Most people usually start small and move into bigger places when they start earning more.”
“Yeah, I kinda skipped all that.” I chuckled. “I got into town, got a studio…” I thought about my old apartment, the scene of many intimate nights with men I barely remembered. I realized now that I didn’t miss it, not at all.
“Must have been expensive.”
I hesitated. “I could afford it. My parents…left me some money.”
He was quiet for a moment then reached across the seat and squeezed my hand. “I’m sorry,” he said simply.
Tears stung at my eyes. Somehow, I hadn’t expected him to understand that any day, any time, I’d have chosen to have my parents back instead of the money. I hadn’t had to explain that sense of loss I carried around with me; somehow, he understood.
“So, you decided to move closer to work, and you found Amy—match made in heaven.”
“
Yeah,” I said softly. Amy was everything I hadn’t even dared hope for in a roommate, and I was glad to have found her. I looked at Jason, wondering what he was thinking. Besides the many other reasons for my self-imposed celibacy, the fact that Amy was my roommate played a huge part in why I wasn’t already intimately acquainted with what lay beneath his clothes. A tiny part of me suddenly wished I didn’t live with her. It would be one less complication standing in the way of exploring…whatever this was between him and me.
We remained silent the rest of the way. This time the drive was shorter, and soon Leonard was pulling up at the curb in front of my building. The car stopped, and I reached for the handle without looking at Jason.
“Thanks for the ride,” I said quickly. “Good night,” I added. “Good night, Leonard.”
“Good night,” Leonard’s quiet voice from the front.
Jason reached out and touched my arm. It was a casual touch, barely there, really, but I felt a jolt as if a current had passed through me. “Wait.” His voice was oddly gentle.
My skin prickled. My heart raced. “Yes?”
“I…” He seemed to be searching for words. His eyes went to his hand on my arm, and when he looked back up at me, I could see the dark desire in his gaze. I wondered if he could see the same in mine.
“Why don’t I walk with you?” He turned and climbed out of his side, joining me on the short walk to the door.
I entered the code and the outer door unlocked. Inside, there was a small reception area with a desk then the stairs. I placed a hand on the door but didn’t push it open. I didn’t want to go in, didn’t want to share the last moments of the night with whoever was behind the desk. I also didn’t want to invite Jason up for some privacy, because if he came up with me, I would sleep with him. There was no use denying it. The door was my only protection against the pleasure and ecstasy I knew I would find in his arms—pleasure and ecstasy I knew I shouldn’t want.
He was facing me, looking at me—really looking at me, like his eyes would drink me in if they could. It had been a while since I’d felt so desired by a man. It was heady.
“I’m really glad my sister found you,” he said softly. “I’m a little too protective, I’ve been told. So, I was worried about moving out and leaving her alone in the apartment. I was worried when she said she was going to find a roommate, but you’re perfect…as far as roommates go.”
I chuckled. Somehow that hadn’t been what I was expecting him to say. “She’s not a baby, you know.”
He smiled. “I know, but I don’t ever get to stop being a big brother. That’s how it works.”