Wild Sexy Hurt (Wild Sexy 3)

He's a sexy, naughty, multiple-orgasm giving, melt-your-insides, sex-god of a man.

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But as far as Daphne is concerned, Jason Wild is also a liar whose feelings for her she can't bring herself to trust. She never wants to see him again, even though she still craves him with every cell of her body.

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Jason is not going to let anything get in the way of his feelings for Daphne. But how can he convince the girl who has been happily alone for most of her life, that they are meant to be together?

Chapter One

Daphne,

My precious Daphne Rose.

I used to think I knew what regret felt like—an inconvenience, a disappointment, maybe a small voice in the back of my mind telling me what I should have done better—but I had no idea, Daphne. Regret is like the weight of the world. It is a sum of all the helplessness of our short existence condensed into a painful blister that never heals.

Every day, I feel it like a scream inside my soul, and nobody can hear it but me. I wish I were stronger. I wish I were powerful. I wish I could somehow stand up to life, science, biology, and nature and demand that my soul should not be torn from me.

But I can’t. I’m helpless against death, and you, my soul, my whole life—I can hardly bear that I am going to be separated from you.

Daphne, from the moment we discovered we were expecting you, you were a source of light and joy for your father and me. You bounded into this world, healthy, excited, eager to experience everything, to see everything, to laugh, to play. Your wonder taught us to see the world through your eyes, and it was beautiful. You were the greatest joy anyone could have asked for. You were everything we wanted, everything we needed.

I’ve told you so many times how much your father loved you. He could watch you play for hours, watch you sleep all night. He listened to you even before you could talk, and he loved every minute of your babbling. He would have given anything to be here for you. I would give anything to remain here for you, to watch you grow up into the beautiful woman I know you will be. I think of the things you will experience, the books you will read, the places you will visit, and I want to be here to hear all about it, because my greatest pleasure would be to guide you through it all, through the joys and the pain. I want to treasure all your moments in my heart—the good, the great, the bad, the worst—because every breath you take, every word you say, every experience you live is a precious gift to me.

Oh, Daphne. I’m dying. Every day, I try to get used to those words. I try to accept it and come to peace with it. I want to tell you I’m sorry, but those words don’t come close to describing what I really want to say and how devastated I am to be leaving you. I don’t have any options left. It’s not in my hands anymore. I’ve asked myself why love isn’t enough. If it were, my love for you would keep me in this world until you take your last breath.

You’re such a beautiful, loving soul, but every day, I sense you getting angry. I feel your pain, your rage. I see you rejecting everything that once made you smile. I see you pushing your friends away and withdrawing into yourself. It scares me, Daphne. I hate to leave, knowing you are losing any of your sweetness, any of your happiness, trust, and enjoyment of the world. Don’t. Your life can still be beautiful, even when I’m not here.

When you’re done grieving, I want you to read these words and remember that I want you to enjoy every second of your life. I want you to live, even though I won’t be here to see it. I want you to face your adult life with the confidence and strength I know you have inside you.

You have so much of your father in you. He was my strength and my passion, and when I lost him, it was you who reminded me that I still had a purpose, that the most precious parts of him remained with me in the form of a precious little girl who trusted me to always be here for her. You breathed new life into me, and I knew I would always belong to you. That knowledge was the anchor that kept me alive and happy.

You will find your anchors, Daphne. They will let you fly and yet provide a connection for you to always find your way home. They will fill you with smiles and happiness the same way you’ve done for me. Don’t withdraw into yourself. Don’t blame the world for the pain. You will feel the hurt, and after a while, it will start to fade, I promise you. It hurts to lose the ones you love, but it is far worse never to have loved at all.

So, love people, build connections and memories, and never hesitate to experience the richness of life.

I don’t know where I’ll be when I’m no longer here, but wherever it is, I will be trying to reach across worlds, to touch you, to love you, to always be your mom.

You are my heart.

Forever and ever,

Mom

I wiped the tears staining my cheeks, trying not to sob as my mother’s words washed over me as if she was right beside me, speaking them. I missed her with an ache that brought tears to my eyes, and I needed her now more than ever, but the letter was all I had.

I folded the paper and held it to my nose. It still carried a faint flowery scent after all these years. Even the envelope was scented, with watercolor drawings of flowers. It was the sort of pretty thing my mother had always liked.

Inside was a picture of my mother, my father, and me as a chubby two-year-old clutching a furry rabbit at a picnic. We looked so happy, and that happiness had been so temporary. Within a few years, my father would be dead, and my mother would be miserable and lonely then miserable and married to someone who wasn’t worthy of touching the ground she walked on. One minute, we were happy, the next, the world had shattered.

That was exactly how I felt now. I’d thought I could be happy. I’d reached for happiness with Jason, believing I’d found the part of my soul that had been missing for so long. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Now, all I could do was watch the wobbly blocks of happiness I’d built collapse around me.

I’d built them on the shakiest foundation of all—a player, a liar, a man who didn’t deserve my trust.

I never wanted you to be alone again, not when I could be there for you.

Liar.

You don’t have to be alone. Just say the word, and you’ll never have to be.

Liar.

I closed my eyes, still hearing Jason in my head. Every promise he’d made, everything he’d said to make me trust him, and then Amy’s voice like a chorus…

Daphne, I have a confession.

My fists clenched as my eyes fought another wave of tears. More than anything, I needed to stop crying about him. He didn’t deserve my tears. He didn’t deserve my love. All I wanted was to go back to before I met him, to some distant place in the past where thinking the name Jason Wild didn’t make me feel like my heart was shattered into jagged, bloody pieces.

There was a knock on the door. I pushed the picture and the letter back into the envelope and stuck it under a pillow.

“Come in.”

The door opened, and Candace stuck her head into the room.

“Hey.” Her voice was soft and full of concern. She was a friend from work, but we were close. When I left my apartment after Amy’s bombshell, I had no idea where I was going, but when I called her and said I needed a place to stay for a day or two, she’d offered me h

er spare bedroom, no questions asked.

I’d spent most of the day in the room, feeling sorry for myself as I went over Amy’s revelation over and over in my head.

“You okay?” Candace asked.