“And now?” I said, my voice shaking. “What makes you think this is the right time to tell him?”
She didn’t reply.
My eyes stung. “This is so wrong. You don’t even know if he…”
“Carries it?” She stared at me, her eyes so like Jason’s it hurt to look at her. “You can bet on that if you like.”
Amy took my hand. “Daphne…”
“Is that all?” I asked Sarah, feeling broken inside. “Is that all you wanted to say to him?”
She didn’t reply.
“Daphne,” Amy said. “Let’s get out of here.”
“You’ll tell him?” Sarah asked.
I stared at her, not sure what to say, then I let Amy lead me to the door, wishing more than anything that I’d never come in the first place.
Chapter Five
I was silent through the drive back to the hotel. I couldn’t bring myself to speak. The thought of Jason—powerful, vibrant, magnificent—having his life cut short by sickness was like a joke from the devil himself.
In the hotel, we gathered our things. Amy seemed to need the silence as much as I did, and it stretched, even on the plane. I stared at the clouds, trying to convince myself everything Sarah had said was a lie.
Back in our apartment, I was still in shock. Amy followed me to my room and watched as I began to unpack mechanically, not even giving myself time to rest.
“Daphne,” she said, her voice tentative.
“I don’t want to talk,” I replied, shaking my head. “I need to…” I stared blankly at her, not even sure what I was going to say. “I need to…”
She put her arms around me and hugged me tightly. “You don’t need to do anything,” she said. “Not now. Just take your time, and think…”
“About whether to tell him?”
She sighed. “Do you want to?”
I shook my head. “I just…I don’t fucking know.”
“I assumed you would take the day off.” Jason’s voice was warm, and it wrapped around me like a blanket. I wanted to see him, so much, and yet I was afraid to.
“No.” I laughed weakly. “I didn’t want to be stuck at home doing nothing.”
“You wouldn’t have been doing nothing.” He laughed. “You could have been doing me, at lunch. I’m not above abandoning everything here for an hour or two at your place or mine.”
“Jason!” I sighed. There was nothing I wanted or needed more than to lose myself entirely in his touch. Then, I could forget the weight on my mind.
“It’s not too late. There’s a suite in the hotel next door with a bed that has our names all over it.”
“You’re tempting me,” I said.
“So, be tempted.”
“I am.”
“But…”
“But…” I sighed. “I have a lot of work.”