Undeniable

Abruptly, I get up from the seat. “It’s late.” I say, “I should go inside.”

Immediately, he’s standing too, towering over me. We were sitting close, and now we’re standing even closer. My eyes are level with the top of his chest, and I can feel the soft tickle of his breath on my forehead. Suddenly, I can't move anymore, my legs feel too weak.

He reaches out and places a finger under my chin, lifting my face up to look at him. I tremble even at the small touch, and I can see the gleam in his eyes that tells me he noticed.

“You shouldn’t have come back, Olivia,” he says, the softness of the words, doing nothing to temper the threat in them.

I don’t argue, even I know that I shouldn’t have come back, not when he can still make me feel like this.

“Well, hopefully I won’t be here for long.” That’s the reply on my lips, but he doesn’t let me say the words, as soon as I open my mouth, he leans forward and covers my lips with his.

I can’t think. I can’t feel anything apart from the touch of his lips as they claim mine, and the hardness of his body against my own. My nose fills with his scent even as my skin responds to his touch. Soon it feels as if all my senses have been possessed by him.

I don’t want this, I think desperately. I don’t want this unbearable pleasure, the fluttering in my stomach, the warm pulsing heat in my core. I don’t want to feel this insane desire to reach out and run my fingers over his chest, to lose myself in his kiss. I don’t want to still be in love with him.

It takes all my self-control and willpower, but I brace my hands on his chest and push off from him, stepping as far away from him as I can.

“It must be really bad if your charms didn’t work on Lindsay and you have to settle for me tonight.” I say caustically. My chest is heaving, and my lips are tingling sweetly, desperate for more, but I’d rather die than let him know that.

He’s also breathing deeply, but at my words, he laughs. “You know better than to doubt my charms, Olivia”

I do, but I’d rather not dwell on that. I close my eyes against the unwanted memories. “Goodnight Jackson.” I say, walking away from him. "I’m going to bed.”

He doesn’t make any move to stop me, and as I walk towards the house, I can feel his eyes on my back, and taste the sweetness of his kiss lingering on my lips.

Chapter Thirteen

AFTER a night spent tossing and turning, I’m up early the next morning. I take a shower and dress simply in dark pants and a cream top, securing my hair in a ponytail. Downstairs, I follow the familiar smell of brewing coffee to the breakfast room, a large, airy room close to the kitchens where until noon, there’s always coffee, eggs, and toast.

Neither Constance nor Mrs. Shannon are anywhere to be found, but Nick is at the table, staring morosely into the steaming mug of coffee in front of him. Carl is wolfing down a plate of bacon and eggs, while Elaine is at the end of the table, typing into her tiny laptop. Jackson isn’t anywhere in the room, so I release the breath I hadn’t known I was holding, and join them.

“Good morning,” I say to everyone and no one in particular.

“Good morning.” Carl says with his mouth full. Elaine raises a hand in a halfhearted wave and Nick just grunts. What a cheerful bunch! I think, pouring myself some coffee from the pot and watching as Nick takes a sip of his. Before the mug is half-empty, he'll be fully awake and his tyranny will no doubt begin.

“What happened to you last night?” Elaine says suddenly, looking up from her typing. “You disappeared right after dinner."

“Yeah, I went for a walk in the garden, then upstairs to bed.”

“Oh.” She gives me a suspicious look. “Well I and Nick did some planning for the article. He has a list of the pictures he wants."

I look towards Nick. His mug is still almost full. “Nick? Do you want to let me know what you want so I can start working on it?”

“Yes,” He groans, “just let me wake up first.”

I hide a smile behind my mug. “I thought Jackson was going to show you guys the original plans of the house today.” I ask Elaine.

“Oh, that.” Her hair swings as she shakes her head. “We had to take a rain check. He’s left, gone back to the city.”

“Oh.” The small exclamation escapes me. He had gone back to the city. I feel a mixture of relief and disappointment. I had prepared myself for days of him being around, and now he was just gone. What an anticlimax. And proof that my presence here means nothing to him.

Well, his absence means nothing to me, I decide resolutely. He is nothing to me really, just some guy I loved a long time ago. Relationships end and people who love each other sometimes grow out of it, as we would have grown out of our feelings too, in time. Then this sense of an unresolved affair wouldn’t be part of my life.

Still I can’t help asking myself why he came at all. Was it just to see what the years without him had done to me, or to test me, and see if he could still take advantage of my attraction to him. Well, I had survived the years without him, and hopefully, I’d convinced him that physically, he was nothing to me. So there was nothing left for him at Halcyon if I had been the reason he came in the first place.

“Constance will be showing us the plans and the sculptures in the garden.” Elaine continues, just then she looks towards the door. “Oh, here she is. Good morning Constance."

“Good morning.” Constance walks into the room and stops at the table. “I hope you have everything you need.”