“Slut.”
“Whore.”
“Cunt.”
I kicked Joyce in the shin. I draw the line at cunt. And besides, ever since that day I caught her bare-?assed on my dining room table with my husband, I've been wanting to kick her.
Joyce responded by grabbing my hair.
“Yow!” I said. “Let go!”
She wouldn't let go, so I gave her a good pinch in the arm.
“Hold on here,” Lula said. “I can tell you don't know nothing about fighting. This woman got you by the hair, and all you can do is give her a pinch?”
“Yeah, but it'll leave a bruise,” I said.
Joyce yanked harder at my hair. Then suddenly she gave a squeak, and she was on her back, on the floor.
I glared over at Lula.
“Well, I just wanted to see if the new batteries were working,” Lula said.
“So how much do you think breasts like that would cost?” Sally asked. “Do you think they'd look good on me?”
“Sally, those are real breasts.”
Sally bent down and took a closer look. “Damn.”
“Uh oh,” Lula said. “I don't know how to break this to you, but we're missing someone.”
I looked around. Kuntz was gone. “Sally, you check the men's room. Lula, you search the room here. I'll see if he's outside.”
“What about Joyce?” Lula said. “Maybe we should shove her over in the corner where people won't trip on her.”
Joyce's eyes were glazed, and her mouth was open. Her breathing seemed normal enough, considering she'd just taken a few volts.
“Joyce?” I said. “You okay?”
One of her arms flailed out.
A small crowd had accumulated.
“Dizzy spell,” I told everyone.
“I read in the manual sometimes people wet themselves when they have one of these dizzy spells,” Lula said. “Wouldn't that be fun?”
Joyce's legs started flopping around, and her eyes came into focus.
Lula hoisted her up and sat her in a chair. “You should see a doctor about these spells,” Lula said.
Joyce nodded. “Yeah. Thanks.”
We got Joyce a cold beer and went off to find Kuntz.
I went outside to Morelli. “You see Eddie Kuntz leave?”
“What's he look like?”