Ten Big Ones (Stephanie Plum 10)

I got it this afternoon.'

'You should put ice on it,' she said. 'It looks real painful.'

I paid Leslie and slunk out of the store. I hunched behind the wheel of the Buick and turned into the Burg. I had to park in the driveway when I got to my parents' house because there was a big yellow school bus at the curb.

Grandma was at the door, waiting for me. 'Guess who's here?' she said.

'Sally?'

'He came over because he was so excited that the charges were dropped. And he's been real helpful on account of Valerie's still here, and we've been discussing the bridesmaids' dresses. Valerie wants pink, but Sally thinks they should be a fall color since it's fall.'

Valerie was in the kitchen, sitting at the table with the baby hanging from her neck in a land of sling apparatus. My mother was at the stove, stirring a pot of marinara.

Sally was sitting across from Valerie. His long black curly hair was Medusa meets Howard Stern. He was wearing a Motley Crue

T-shirt, jeans with the knees torn out, and red lizard cowboy boots.

'Hey, man, thanks for getting the charges dropped,' Sally said. 'I got a call from the court. And then Sklar called me just to make sure I wasn't gonna go ahead with the lawyer. I didn't know what to say at first, but I just went with it. It was real good.'

I put the cheese and lunch meat in the fridge, and I set the coffee cake on the table. 'Glad it worked out.'

'So what do you think of the dresses?' Valerie wanted to know.

'Are you sure you want to have a big wedding?' I asked Valerie.

'It seems like a lot of work and expense. And who will you have for bridesmaids?'

'You'll be my maid of honor. And then there's Loretta Stone-houser.

And Rita Metzger. And Margaret Durski as bridesmaids.

And the girls can be junior bridesmaids.'

`I'm thinking pumpkin would be a good color for the bridesmaids' gowns,' Sally said.

I cut myself a large wedge of coffee cake. It was going to take a lot of cake to improve my mood on the pumpkin gown.

'You know what we need?' Grandma said. 'We need a wedding planner. Like that movie. Remember where Jennifer Lopez is the wedding planner?'

'I could use help,' Valerie said. It's hard to find the time for everything, but I don't think I can afford a wedding planner.'

'Maybe I could help plan the wedding,' Sally said. 'I have extra time between my bus runs.'

'You'd be a perfect wedding planner,' Grandma said. 'You have a real eye for color, and you got ideas about all that seasonal stuff.

I would never have thought to have pumpkin gowns.'

'It's settled then. You're the wedding planner,' Valerie said.

My mother's attention wandered to the pantry. She might have been taking a mental inventory, but more likely, she was contemplating the whiskey bottle hidden behind the olive oil.

'How's the house search going?' I asked Valerie. 'Any luck?'

1 haven't had a lot of time to put to it,' she said. 'But I promise to start looking.'

'I sort of miss my apartment.'

'I know,' Val said. I'm really sorry this is taking so long. Maybe we should move back here with Mom and Dad.'