He had big baggy homey pants that had slipped off his boney ass and were around his knees. He was wearing cotton boxers with red and white stripes. His oversize four-hundred-dollar basketball shoes were unlaced in hood fashion. He looked pretty bad, but it was an improvement over the last time I saw him.
'This is kidnapping,' he said. 'You can't do this, bitch.'
'Of course we can,' Lula told him. 'We're bounty hunters. We kidnap people all the time.'
'Well, maybe not all the time,' I said.
Connie looked pained. Kidnapping wasn't actually allowed. We could detain and transport people if we had the right documentation.
If you stop flopping around we'll stand you up and sit you on a chair,' I told him.
'We'll even pull your pants up, so we don't have to look at Mr
Droopy hanging out,' Lula said. 'I've seen enough of Mr Droopy to last a long time. It's not that great.'
We dragged him to his feet, pulled his pants up, and plopped him onto one of the wooden kitchen chairs, securing him with a length of rope that we wrapped and knotted around his chest and the chair back.
'You're at our mercy now,' Lula said. 'You're going to tell us what we want to know.'
'Yeah, right. I'm real scared.'
'You should be scared. If you don't start talking about Junkman,
I'm gonna hit you one.'
Ward gave a bark of laughter.
'Okay, that's it. I guess we have to persuade you,' Lula said. 'Go ahead, Stephanie, make him talk.'
'What?
'Go ahead and hurt him. Slap him around.'
You're going to have to excuse us for a moment,' I said to Ward.
'I need to talk to my associates in private.'
I pulled Lula and Connie into the living room. 'I can't slap him around,' I said.
'Why not?' Lula wanted to know.
I've never slapped anyone around before.'
'So?'
'So, I can't just walk up to him and hit him. Its different when someone attacks you, and you get lost in the heat of the moment.'
'No, it's not,' Lula said. 'You just be thinking he hit you first. You just walk up to him, and you imagine him punching you in the face.
And then you punch him back. Once you get started, I bet you'll like it.'
'Why don't you hit him?'
'I could if I wanted,' Lula said.
'Well, then?'
'I just don't think it's my place. I mean, you're the one needs to know about Junkman. And you're the bounty hunter. I'm just a bounty hunter assistant. I figured you'd want to do it.'