Eleven on Top (Stephanie Plum 11)
Page 14
“It was an accident.”
“It wasn't an accident. I saw you do it with the Maglite.”
“That guy's nuts,” Lula said, taking off from the curb, leaving a couple inches of rubber on the road. “He should be reported to somebody. He should be arrested.”
“You were supposed to arrest him.”
“I was supposed to escort him. Vinnie made that real clear. Escort him. And I could escort the hell out of him except I'm hungry. I gotta get something to eat,” Lula said. “I work better on a happy stomach. I could take that woman-beating moron in anytime I want, so what's the rush, right? Might as well get a burger first, that's what I think. And anyway, he might be more Ranger's speed. I wouldn't want to step on Rangers toes. You know how Ranger likes all that shooting stuff.”
“I thought you liked the shooting stuff.”
“I don't want to hog it.”
“Considerate of you.”
“Yeah, I'm real considerate,” Lula said, turning into a Cluck-in-a-Bucket drive-thru. “I'm seriously thinking of giving this case to Ranger.”
“What if Ranger doesn't want it?”
“You think he'd turn down a good case like this?”
“Yeah.”
“Hunh,” Lula said. “Wouldn't that be a bitch?”
She got a Cluck Burger with cheese, a large side of fries, a chocolate shake, and an Apple Clucky Pie. I wasn't in a Cluck-in-a-Bucket mood so I passed.
Lula finished off the last piece of the pie and looked at her watch. “I'd go back and root out that nutso loser, but it's getting late. Don't you think it's late?”
“Almost three o'clock.”
“Practically quitting time.”
Especially for me, since I quit yesterday.
Stephanie Plum 11 - Eleven On Top
THREE
I'm not the world's best cook, but I have some specialties, and almost all of them include peanut butter. You can't go wrong with peanut butter. Today I was having a peanut butter and olive and potato chip sandwich for dinner.
Very efficient since it combines legumes and vegetables plus some worthless white bread carbohydrates all in one tidy package. I was standing in the kitchen, washing the sandwich down with a cold Corona, and Morelli called.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“Eating.”
“Why aren't you eating in my house?”
“I don't live in your house.”
“You were living in my house last night.”
“I was visiting your house last night. That's different from living. Living involves commitment and closet allocation.”
“We don't seem to be all that good at commitment, but I'd be happy to give up a couple closets in exchange for wild gorilla sex at least five days out of seven.”
“G