Eleven on Top (Stephanie Plum 11)

“This is sick.”

“Yeah. You'd better call Grandma and let her come over to have a look before you turn it in. Grandma will never forgive you if you don't let her see the mole.”

Morelli looked at the packet of painkillers on his coffee table. “I need more drugs,” he said. “If I have to have your grandmother over here examining the mole I definitely need more drugs.”

I gave him a fast kiss and ran back to the SUV. If I got all the lights right I might make work on time.

I parked in the underground garage and took the elevator to the fifth floor.

I already knew most of the guys who worked for Ranger. No one looked surprised to see me when I came onto the floor of the control room. Everyone was dressed in black jeans or cargo pants and black T-shirts. Ranger and I were the only ones without Range-man embroidered on the front of the shirt.

Ranger had been slouched in a chair, watching a monitor, when I stepped out of the elevator. He came to my side and walked me station to station.

“As you can see there are two banks of monitors,” Ranger said. “Hal's watching the cameras in the building and listening to police scanners. He also watches the GPS screen that tracks Rangeman vehicles. Woody and Vince are monitoring private security systems. Rangeman provides personal, commercial and residential security to select clients. It's not a large operation in the world of security specialists, but the profit margin is good. I have similar operations in Boston, Miami, and Atlanta. I'm in the middle of a sellout to my Atlanta partner, and I'll probably sell Boston. I like being out on the street. I'm not crazy about running a national empire. Too difficult to control quality.”

“I'm going to give you the cubby on the far side of the room. It's the area we set aside for investigation. Silvio has been doing this job, but he's transferring to the Miami office on Monday. He has family there. He'll sit with you today and make sure you know how to get into the search programs. Initially, I want you to concentrate on Benny Gorman. We've already run him through the system. Silvio will give you the file. I want you to read the file and then start over. The gym is open to you. Unfortunately, the locker room is men only. I'm sure they'd be happy to share, but I don't think it's a good idea. If you need to change clothes or shower you can use my apartment. Tank will issue you a key fob similar to mine. It'll get you into the building and into my apartment. My housekeeper, Ella, keeps food in the kitchen at the end of the hall. It's for staff use. There are always sandwiches, raw vegetables, and fruit. You're going to have to bring your own Cheez Doodles and Tastykakes. My business manager will stop by later this morning to discuss salary and benefits. I'll have Ella order some Rangeman shirts for you. If you decide to go back to Vinnie you can keep the shirts.” Ranger almost smiled. “I like the idea of you wearing my name on your breast.” He had his hand at the back of my waist, and he guided me into the cubby. “Make yourself comfortable. I'll send Silvio in to you. I'll be out of the office all day, but you can reach me on my cell if there's a problem. Are there any new disasters you want to share with me before I take off?”

“Spiro sent me Mama Mac's mole.”

“Her mole?”

“Yeah, she had this horrible mutant mole on her face that the crime lab was never able to find. Spiro left it for me in my apartment. He had it all gift wrapped in a little box.”

“Walk me through this.”

“I went back to my apartment this morning to find something black to wear to work. I opened my locked door and the little gift-wrapped package was on the floor in the foyer. I was worried Spiro might still be in the apartment, so I called Lula and we went through together.”

“Why didn't you call me?”

“It felt wimpy.”

“Do you honestly think Lula would protect you against Spiro?”

“She had a gun.”

There was an awkward pause while Ranger came to terms with the possibility that I didn't have my own gun.

“My gun melted down in the Cluck-in-a-Bucket fire,” I told him. Not nearly so much of a loss as my lip gloss.

“Tank will also outfit you with a gun,” Ranger said. “I expect you to carry it. And I expect it to be loaded. We have a practice range in the basement. Once a week I expect you to visit the practice range.”

I snapped him a salute. “Aye, aye, sir!”

“Don't let the rest of the men see you being a smartass,” Ranger said.

“They're not allowed.”

“I'm allowed?”

“I have no illusions over my ability to control you. Just try to keep the power play private, so you don't undermine my authority with my men.”

“You're assuming we'll have private time?”

“It would be nice.” The almost smile turned into a for-sure smile. “Are you flirting with me?”

“I don't think so. Did it feel like flirting?” Of course I was flirting with him. I was a horrible person. Morelli was home with a broken leg and a mutant mole, and I was flirting with Ranger. God, I was such a slut.

“Finish walking me through your latest disaster.”