“What's the lineup look like?” I asked Connie.
“Nothing new. Annie Hart is the only big bond in the wind. It's always slow at this time of the year. All the serious crackheads killed themselves over Christmas, and it's too cold for the hookers and pushers to stand on the street corners. The only good crime we've got going on is gang shooting, and those idiots get held without bond.”
“It's so slow Vinnie's going on a cruise,” Lula said.
“Yeah, and the cruise isn't cheap,” Vinnie said. “So get your ass out there and find Annie Hart. I'm not running a goddamn charity here. I take a hit on Hart's bond, and I'll have to fake a stroke and cash in my cruise insurance. And Lucille wouldn't like that.”
Lucille is Vinnie's wife. Her father is Harry the Hammer, and while Harry might understand about the need for the occasional illicit nooner, he definitely wouldn't be happy to see Lucille get stiffed on the cruise.
“It's one of them champagne Valentine's Day cruises,” Vinnie said. “Lucille's got her bags packed already. She thinks this is going to rejuvenate our marriage.”
“Only way it'll rejuvenate your marriage is if Lucille brings handcuffs and a whip and Mary's little lamb,” Lula said.
“So sue me,” Vinnie said. “I've got eclectic tastes.”
We all did a lot of eye rolling.
“I'm out of here,” I told Connie. “I'll be on my cell if you need me.”
“I'm going with you,” Lula said, grabbing her Prada knockoff shoulder bag. “I'm feeling lucky today. I bet I could find Annie Hart right off.”
“Thanks,” I said to Lula, “but I can handle it.”
“The hell,” Lula said. “Suppose you gotta go into some cranky neighborhood, and you need some muscle. That would be me. Or suppose you need to make a doughnut choice at that new place on State Street. That would be me, too.”
I cut my eyes to Lula. “So what you're saying is that you want to test-drive the new doughnut shop on State?”
“Yeah,” Lula said. “But only if you need a doughnut real bad.”
Fifteen minutes later, I cruised away from Donut Delish and headed for the DMV
“I can't believe you're not eating any of these doughnuts,” Lula said, a bag of doughnuts resting on her lap. “These are first class. Look at this one with the pink and yellow sprinkles on it. It's just about the happiest doughnut I ever saw.”
“I had a huge late breakfast. I'm stuffed.”
“Yeah, but we're talking about primo doughnuts here.”
Bob was in the cargo area of the Escape. His head was over the backseat, and he was panting in our direction.
“That dog could use a breath mint,” Lula said.
“Try a doughnut.”
Lula flipped Bob a doughnut. Bob caught the doughnut midair and settled down to enjoy it.
“Where the heck are we going?” Lula wanted to know. “I thought we were going after Annie Hart. Don't she live in North Trenton?”
“It's complicated. I had to make a deal. Annie Hart is inaccessible until I wrap up her caseload.”
“Are you shitting me? And what's that mean anyways? Does that mean you're taking on her customers? Personally, I can't see you doing that. I read her file. She said she was a relationship expert, and I figured that's code for 'ho.”
“It's not like that. It's more like matchmaking. First person on my list is Charlene Klinger. She's forty-two and divorced, and we need to find her true love.”
“Oh boy, true love. That's a bitch. You sure she wouldn't be satisfied if we just found her some nasty sweaty sex? I got a couple names in my book for that one.”
“I'm pretty sure it has to be true love.”
Stephanie Plum 12.5 - Plum Lovin