“Who, me?” Jeanine sa
id. “Nope. Not me. Everything's just fine. Hope this wasn't too inconvenient. I have to go now.” And she slammed and locked the door.
“That was easy,” Diesel said.
“We didn't solve her problem.”
“So?”
“So you're paying me to close the deal, and that wasn't closing the deal. Besides, I'm starting to like this matchmaker thing. It's a challenge.”
I rang the bell again. And again.
“Now what?” Jeanine said, opening the door, sticking her head out.
“I thought you might want to reconsider. Are you sure you don't have a problem?”
Jeanine's eyes locked onto Diesel.
“Excuse me a minute while I confer with my associate,” I said to Jeanine.
I took Diesel by the arm and walked him down the sidewalk to the car.
“It's you,” I said to Diesel. “You're making her nervous.”
“I have that effect on women,” Diesel said, smiling. “It's my animal magnetism.”
“No doubt. Wait in the car. I'm going to talk to Jeanine, and I'll be right back.”
“Okay, what's the problem?” I said to Jeanine when I closed her front door. “I know there's a problem.”
“Annie didn't tell you? Gosh, this is so embarrassing. I don't know how to say this.” She sucked in some air and scrunched her eyes closed.
“Hello? Anybody home?” I said after a minute of Jeanine with her eyes closed tight.
“I'm working myself up to it,” Jeanine said.
“Boy this must really be bad.”
“It's the worst.”
“Murder? Cancer? Chocolate allergy?”
Jeanine blew out a sigh. “I can't get laid.”
“That's it?”
“Yes.”
“That's not so bad,” I said. “I think I can handle that. I just have to find a guy to have sex with you?”
“Pretty much.”
“Do you have requirements?” I asked her.
“I used to, but I'm getting desperate. I guess I'd like him to have at least some teeth. And it would be good if he wasn't so fat he smothered me. That's about it. I got all panicked when I opened the door because I thought maybe Annie sent that Diesel guy over to get the job done. I mean, I wouldn't mind doing it with him, but I might have to work my way up. He doesn't look like something a beginner would want to tackle. Which brings me to the real problem.” Jeanine cracked her knuckles. “I'm a virgin.”
“Get out!”