“Ranger's not going to off Tank.”
I suspected Ranger would privately think the whole jail thing was pretty funny.
“What's up today?” Lula wanted to know.
“I'm going to check on Jeanine and Charlene and Larry Burlew. Want to ride along?”
“Hell yeah. I could use some air after eating all this candy. I'm feeling seasick. And what's with that nasty red thing in the middle of your forehead? You keep scratching at it. And you got another one in the middle of your cheek.”
I ran to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I had hives! Shit. Double shit.
First stop was the drugstore for salve. Second stop was the DMV. Charlene was behind the counter, looking all smiley-faced. She waved when she saw us, and we cut to the front of the line.
“Excuse us,” Lula said to a bunch of grumblers. “We're here doing Cupid patrol. And you need a attitude adjustment or Cupid's gonna pass you by this year.”
“I want to thank you again for babysitting,” Charlene said.
“No problem. Just wanted to make sure everything was okay.”
“Better than okay,” Charlene said. “What's on your face?”
“See, now isn't that nice,” Lula said on the way out of the building. “Don't that make you feel all warm inside? I told you love was in the air.”
Next stop was Larry Burlew's butcher shop.
Burlew was waiting on a customer, so Lula and I stepped to the side. I looked across the street at the coffee shop and saw Jet waving to me. She smiled and gave me a thumbs-up. I thumbs-upped her back.
The customer left, and I stepped forward. “How did the dinner work out?” I asked Burlew.
“It was wonderful. The meat was perfect. And we served it with baby carrots and new potatoes. And then last night we made rack of lamb, and it was sensational.”
“Yeah, but did you get any?” Lula wanted to know.
“Sure,” Burlew said. “There was plenty to go around. We even had leftovers.”
Lula cut her eyes to me. “Gonna have to get Diesel to talk to him in private.”
“I made restaurant reservations tonight for Jet and me,” Burlew said. “It's Valentine's Day.” He looked more closely at me. “Do you have hives? You know, they're usually an allergic reaction to something. Have you had any shellfish lately?”
“Have a wonderful night,” I said to him, trying really hard not to scratch the hive on my forehead. “Call me if you need any more help.”
“Is he a apple dumpling, or what?” Lula said, sliding into the Escape. “That Jet is a lucky woman. Not every girl gets a man who has a way with meat like that.”
I looked in my rearview mirror and dabbed on more salve.
It was a workday, and Jeanine would be at the button factory and inaccessible, so I tried calling her on her cell.
“ 'Lo,” Jeanine said.
“It's Stephanie Plum,” I told her. “I'm just checking in to see if everything's okay. Why don't I hear any machine noises in the background?”
“I'm home with the worst hangover in the history of the world.”
“How'd it go last night?”
“I think it went okay. Can't remember a lot of it, but he was still here when I woke up this morning, so that's a real good sign, right?”
“Right!”