“We should have brought rubber gloves,” Lula said. “I bet this place is covered with snake spit.”
“The snake stuff is getting old,” I said to her. “Could you back off from the snake stuff?”
“Just trying to be vigilant. If you don't want me reminding you to be careful, hey, okay by me. You're on your own.”
Lula opened a closet door and a mop fell out at her.
“Snake!” Lula screamed. “Snake, snake, snake!” And she ran out of the trailer.
I looked out at Lula. “It was a mop.”
“Are you sure? It looked like a snake to me.”
“It was a mop.”
“I think I wet my pants.”
“Too much information,” I said to her.
Lula crept back into the trailer and looked at the mop lying on the floor. “Scared the bejeezus out of me,” she said.
We made our way through the living area and the kitchen. We looked through a tiny bedroom that was stacked with bunks. We opened the door to the master bedroom and there it was… the snake. It was curled on the bed, and it was looking at us with lazy snake eyes. It had a lump in its throat that was about the size of the family dog, or maybe a small Diggery.
I was paralyzed with fear and horror and gob-stopping fascination. My feet wouldn't move, and I could barely breathe.
'“We're disturbing him,” Lula whispered. “We should leave now and let him finish his breakfast.”
The snake swallowed and the lump moved six inches farther down its throat.
“Oh crap,” Lula whispered.
And next thing I knew, I was in my car.
“How did I get in the car?” I asked Lula.
“You let out a shriek and ran out of the trailer and all the way here. I bet I got footprints on my back where you ran over me.”
I slouched in my seat and concentrated on getting my heart to stop racing. “That wasn't a snake. Snakes aren't that big, are they?”
“It was the snake from hell. It was a motherfucking mutant reptile.” Lula shook her finger at me. “I told you we didn't want to go in there. You wouldn't listen.”
I was still shaky enough that I had to two-hand the key to get it in the ignition. “Took me by surprise,” I said.
“Yeah, me too,” Lula said. “Do I get my lunch now?”
I dropped Lula at the office and looked at my watch. It was a little after one. I had more skips sitting in my bag, waiting to get found, but I was having a hard time working up enthusiasm for the whole bounty hunter thing. I decided procrastination was the way to go, so I called Morelli.
“Is there anything new on Dickie?” I asked him.
“No. As far as I know, he's still missing. Where are you?”
“I'm in my car in front of the office, and I'm trying to calm myself.”
I could hear Morelli smile over the phone line. “How's the snake?”
“Big.”
“Did you catch a Diggery?”