Lula stepped out of the elevator and made her way over to us. “What are we looking at?”
I filled her in on Doug and Delvina, and I checked out her new clothes. Spike-?heeled gold Louboutins, metallic gold miniskirt, and a long black satin tuxedo jacket. She took the jacket off and she was wearing a gold bustier that wasn’t nearly big enough to contain the girls.
Snuggy was eyeball-?to-?headlight with Lula, and he looked like he’d swallowed his tongue when she turned to face him. Diesel was rocked back on his heels, smiling. I’m solidly heterosexual, but I have to admit, I was mesmerized by the sight of all that boob spilling out over the gold top.
“Boy, you got some hooters in that getup,” Grandma said to Lula. “I wouldn’t mind having an outfit like that.”
“I was worried it might not fit just right,” Lula said.
“It looks good from down here,” Snuggy said.
“I’m not complaining,” Diesel told her.
The elevator binged and Connie stepped out. “What’s going on?”
I repeated the Doug and Delvina story, and Connie got a look at the photo.
“We gotta rescue this horse,” Lula said. “I can’t take a chance on crappin’ up my karma now that I’m gonna be a supermodel.”
“What’s with all this feng shui and karma stuff?” Connie asked Lula.
“I got my horoscope done, and it said I needed to be more spiritual. I looked into being a Catholic and it sounded like a real pain in the ass, so I’m going with Asian shit.”
“I guess I wouldn’t mind giving my money over to save Doug,” Grandma said. “And I still got my RV, so I’m pretty lucky when you think about it.”
We all trooped into Grandma’s room and waited while Diesel counted the money.
“We have six hundred and forty thousand,” Diesel said to Snuggy. “How much did Delvina say you stole?”
“Eight hundred and ninety thousand.”
Diesel dumped the money back into the bag and zipped it closed. “We’re short a quarter of a million.”
“I went through ten,” Connie said.
“I went through another ten,” Lula said.
“I got a good price on the RV,” Grandma said. “It was only thirty thousand. And I p
aid some to Randy for guarding the money and driving the RV.”
Diesel was smiling at Grandma. “You blew through almost two hundred thousand and you were playing dollar slots? That’s impressive.”
“Especially since some of that time I was winning,” Grandma said.
“Twelve dollars?”
“Yep. I was on a roll.”
“Delvina isn’t going to be happy,” Snuggy said. “He wanted all his money back.”
“Delvina shouldn’t get any of that money back,” Diesel said. “Delvina’s lucky he’s still alive and walking upright.”
“Yeah, but we gotta think about the horse,” Lula said. “We gotta focus on the horse. How’re we gonna get the horse safe and sound?”
“Why don’t you do something lucky?” Grandma said to Snuggy. “You’re the leprechaun. You’re supposed to go around finding pots of gold.”
“I could, except you need a rainbow to follow, and it was cloudy today. And I can’t do it at night. And anyway, I’m a Polish/Irish leprechaun, so the pot of gold business might not work for me. Mostly, I find it’s easier to steal the gold.”