Finger Lickin' Fifteen (Stephanie Plum 15)

“He’s an excellent scrubber, and besides, it’s not everybody gets to know Mister Clucky personally. He’s one of them minor celebrities.”

Mister Clucky was surrounded by kids, so we bypassed him and put our order in.

“I’m going to try my luck with Ernie Dell again,” I said to Lula. “Are you in?”

“As long as it don’t take too long. Larry gave me his barbecue recipe, and Granny and me are trying it out this afternoon.”

I got an orange juice and two biscuits. Lula got an orange juice, a bucket of biscuits, and a bucket of nuggets.

“Crickey,” I said, looking at her tray. “I thought you were cutting back on the food.”

“You said only have one pork chop and one burger and one steak. So I only got one bucket of biscuits and one bucket of nuggets. You got a problem with that?”

“You could feed a family of six on that food.”

“Not in my neighborhood. I live in a three-pork-chop neighborhood.”

Mister Clucky came inside dancing and singing his Mister Clucky song, going table by table.

“I know him personally,” Lula said to the woman at the table next to her.

Lula was still wearing the flak vest. She ate half the bucket of nuggets, and she released the Velcro straps to give herself more room.

“Is that a bulletproof vest?” the woman next to Lula asked.

“Yep,” Lula said. “And it’s hard to make a fashion statement in this on account of it don’t come in a lot of colors. I gotta wear it because there’s a couple guys tryin’ to kill me.”

The woman gave a gasp and hustled her two kids out the door.

“Hunh,” Lula said. “She just up and left. She didn’t even finish her Clucky Burger.”

“Next time, say you’re wearing a back brace.”

We finished eating, Lula said good-bye to Mister Clucky, and we saddled up. We left Lula’s Firebird in the lot, and I drove.

“I love this car,” Lula said. “My personality don’t fit a SUV, but this car is still excellent. It got buttons all over the place. What’s this button do?”

“I don’t know.”

Lula pushed the button and my GPS screen went blank. “Oops,” Lula said.

The car phone rang, and I opened the connection.

“This is Hal in the control room,” a voice said on the hands-free phone. “Are you all right?”

“Yes.”

“You just dropped off my screen. Did you disable your GPS?”

“It was an accident. How do I fix it?”

“Push the button again.”

“Where’s that voice comin’ from?” Lula wanted to know. “It sounds like the voice of God, floatin’ around in space.”

I disconnected Hal, reconnected the GPS, and turned off Hamilton.

“This time we’ll cover all exits,” I said. “You take the front door, and I’ll take the back door.”