“Swear to God. It was like that in the movie. I might think twice about going back into the Zeta house. I’m telling you, vomiting up cockroaches isn’t on my bucket list.” Lula looked at her watch. “Where are we going next? You think it’s too early to get some egg salad?”
We were standing in front of the administration building, looking across a large green lawn that was sprinkled with college kids walking to classes, catching Frisbees, or sprawled out napping in the sun. The new building that housed the biology department was on the other side of the lawn.
“Globovic was a biology major,” I said to Lula. “Let’s try the biology department. Connie’s done some preliminary research for me, so I have the name of Globovic’s advisor, Stanley Pooka.”
My cellphone buzzed with a text message from Ranger.
Need date. Pick you up at seven. Wear sexy red dress. Bring loaded gun.
This wasn’t wonderful. I didn’t need Ranger complicating my life right now. And I had a gun but I wasn’t sure if I had any bullets.
“Bad news?” Lula asked.
“Ranger needs a date, and he’s picking me up at seven.”
“Why don’t I ever get news like that? That’s my kind of news. That man is so hot I get a flash just thinking about him.” Lula fanned herself. “I feel warm all over. I hope it’s not because I got possessed back there in the evil house.”
“Maybe you’re warm because it’s almost eighty degrees and we’re standing in the sun.”
“Yeah, that could be it, but if I start horkin’ up cockroaches you gotta get me to a priest.”
We walked across the grass to the science building and took the elevator to Stanley Pooka’s third-floor office. The office door was open, and I could see a man pacing inside. He was medium height and slender, and his yellow mass of frizzed, bushed-out hair looked like it could have squirrels hiding in it. He was waving his arms and talking to himself. Hard to tell his age. Maybe in his early fifties. He was wearing what appeared to be pajama bottoms, a gray T-shirt, and a large amulet on a chain around his neck.
“I think there’s some nutjob in Professor Pooka’s office,” Lula said.
I moved into the doorway. “Professor Pooka?”
He whirled around. “Yes,” he said. “Office hours are Wednesdays and Thursdays. This is Monday. Go away.”
I introduced myself, gave him my card, and told him I was looking for Ken Globovic.
“He isn’t here,” Pooka said. “Your card says bond enforcement. How do I know you’re really bond enforcement? Where’s your gun? Why aren’t you dressed in black leather?”
“Honey, black leather is so yesterday’s television,” Lula said. “We don’t go with that black leather stuff no more, but I got a gun. It’s a big one, too.” Lula pawed through her purse, looking for her gun. “I know it’s in here somewhere.”
“You’re Ken’s advisor,” I said to Pooka.
“I was his advisor. He’s disappeared. Good riddance. He was a screwup anyway. Everyone at this school is a screwup.”
“He belonged to Zeta,” I said.
Pooka narrowed his eyes. “And? Are you implying something?”
“Nope,” I said. “Just looking for answers.”
“Then you’re in the wrong place. No one wants answers here. This school is the work of the devil.”
“Heard that before,” Lula said.
“Academic freedom is dead here,” Pooka said.
“Looks to me like what they got is freedom to spank,” Lula said, still pawing around in her purse. “I can’t find my gun. I must have left it in my other purse. I changed it at the last minute on account of it wasn’t complementary with my pink sweater. I’m careful about my accessorizing.”
“Pink is a feminist color,” Pooka said to Lula. “Are you a feminist?”
“You bet your ass,” Lula said. “Unless I need something done that’s man’s work. Like relocating a snake. Then I’m all about bending the rules. Just ’cause I wear pink don’t mean I’m stupid. And while we’re on the subject of fashion, I have to tell you the necklace you’re wearing is excellent.”
“It’s my power amulet,” Pooka said. “I never take it off. It’s the only protection I have from the evils of this school. To take it off would be an insult to the amulet.”