“I knocked on the door. He opened it. And before I could say anything he grabbed me and pulled me into the house.”
“Any weapons?”
“I saw a shotgun by the door.”
“Okay, let’s try this routine again.”
I followed a couple paces behind Ranger and moved to the side when he rapped on the door. No one answered. Ranger rapped again and I called out, “Bond enforcement.”
Blatzo opened the door, saw me standing there, and started to reach for me when he spotted Ranger. He stepped back and went for the shotgun. Ranger grabbed him by the front of his shirt, lifted him off his feet, and threw him across the room. Blatzo hit the wall with a wump! that knocked the air out of him. He slid to the floor, and Ranger walked over and cuffed him.
“That was easy,” I said to Ranger.
“Keep your eye on him. I want to walk through the house.” Ranger came back moments later and called dispatch at Trenton PD for police backup. “We have a cache of weapons and suspicious items in the freezer,” he told her. “We’ll stay on the scene until someone gets here.”
“Suspicious items?” I asked him.
“You don’t want to know more. And you definitely don’t want to look for yourself.”
It took ten minutes for a squad car to reach us. A second one immediately followed. The four men got out and cautiously walked to the front porch, obviously aware of the snakes.
“Why are there so many snakes in this neighborhood?” I asked Ranger.
“The meth dealers and crazies bring them in and set them loose. It’s cheaper and more effective than a guard dog.”
I showed the first cop my paperwork for Blatzo. It gave me permission to enter and capture.
“Looks legal,” he said. “How do you want to go forward? Do you want to take him in or would you rather we take him?”
“We’ll let you take him, and we’ll follow,” Ranger said.
One of the cops walked into the kitchen and looked in the fridge. “Whoa!” he said. “Hey, Stan, come take a look at this.”
Stan grimaced and looked at Ranger. “Am I going to wish I hadn’t eaten that burrito for breakfast?”
“It might not have been a good choice,” Ranger said.
I felt like the house was getting crowded, and it didn’t smell all that great, so I tiptoed down the sidewalk, removed my gun belt, and waited in the SUV. An unmarked car cruised down the street and angle-parked in front of the house. A third squad car rolled in. Stan was on the front stoop. He was holding a roll of crime scene tape, looking like he didn’t know what to do with it. No one wanted to venture into the high grass around the house.
Ranger and two uniforms appeared in the doorway with Blatzo. Blatzo was frog-marched to a squad car, shackled, and tucked into the backseat.
Ranger walked back to me and got behind the wheel. “This was a good bust,” he said. “There’s enough evidence in that house to put Blatzo away forever.”
I gave an involuntary shiver. If it hadn’t been for Lula and the dildo, it might have been my body parts that were found in the freezer.
•••
It was noon when I swung into the bonds office, and Connie and Lula were working their way through a bucket of extra crispy fried chicken.
“We got this chicken to celebrate that you snagged Blatzo,” Lula said. “There’s a piece left for you.”
I took my crispy chicken part and gave Connie the body receipt. “I’m sure you heard about Dean Mintner.”
“Everyone heard,” Connie said. “It was on morning television. National.”
“I told Connie how I found him, too,” Lula said.
“You didn’t find him,” I said. “You fell over him.”