Look Alive Twenty-Five (Stephanie Plum 25)

Hal was sitting in a booth when we got back inside, but he wasn’t looking great. Lula gave him a number three with extra gravy and a glass of orange juice. Dalia took a mop to the blood on the kitchen floor. Stretch washed his chef’s knife and poured bleach over it. We comped the checks for all the customers, and got Raymond out of the bathroom.

“Now we’re all back to normal,” Lula said. “I might take the time to get my nails done before the dinner rush, since I’m changing out my hair tomorrow. I’m liking this blond wig. And I might want to stay blond for a while so people can recognize me after I’ve been on television. I’m thinking I’ll go blond and maybe I want some champagne nail varnish.”

“I have to get Valerie a birthday present,” I said. “And then I need to show up for a party at my parents’ house. I’ll get back to close, but I won’t be here for dinner.”

“No problem,” Lula said. “We got it covered.”

“What about Mr. Muscle?” Stretch asked. “Is he going to the party or can he work phones for us?”

“Do you mind working phones?” I asked Hal.

“If it’s okay with Ranger, it’s okay with me,” Hal said.

“Where are you going shopping?” Lula asked. “Do you have ideas for Valerie?”

“I have no ideas. I thought I’d go to the mall and look around.”

“That’s the worst,” Lula said. “That’s like shopping death. You’d better take me with you. I’m good at shopping.”

“I thought you were getting your nails done.”

“I’ll get them done tomorrow. I can see you need my help here.”

* * *

¦ ¦ ¦

Hal parked in the lot at Quaker Bridge Mall, and we all trooped into Macy’s.

“What’s Valerie’s size?” Lula asked.

“I don’t know. She’s put some weight on since the last baby, and she doesn’t discuss size.”

“What about a scarf? A scarf fits all sizes.”

“I don’t think she’s a scarf person.”

“How could someone not be a scarf person? Everybody is a scarf person.”

“I’ve never seen you wear a scarf.”

“Yeah, but that’s me. I don’t like to wear something that takes attention away from my girls.”

We wandered past the scarfs, handbags, and lingerie. Nothing jumped out at me as being perfect for Valerie and in my price range.

“Perfume?” Lula asked. “Candle?”

“Albert has allergies to certain scents.”

We moved out of Macy’s into the mall. Lula led the way, I followed Lula, and Hal followed me.

“Here’s one of my favorite jewelry stores,” Lula said. “They got the best fake diamonds. You can’t tell the difference. And they got stuff that looks like it’s old. It’s the ‘Family Heirloom’ collection.”

“Valerie doesn’t wear jewelry anymore,” I said. “The baby grabs it.”

“They got an Arthur Murray Dance Studio here,” Lula said. “You could give her dance lessons. Or how about a hat? You could get her name embroidered on it. They do it while you wait.”

We all stopped and had giant pretzels and ice cream and went to the second level. We passed by Mr. Alexander’s, Classy Nails, and a wig shop.