“Steven Cross?” I asked.
“Better known as David Niven,” Lula said.
Cross stopped packing. “Yes?”
I held my fake badge out, so he could see I was official. “I represent your bail bondsman. You missed your court date and you need to reschedule.”
“Sure. Reschedule me,” he said. “Now go away. I’m busy.”
“Looks like you’re going on a trip,” Lula said.
“Brilliant,” Cross said. “What gave me away? The suitcase?”
“No need for sarcasm,” Lula said. “I was just making conversation. Although the clever sarcasm is very David Niven.”
“You need to reschedule in person,” I said.
“Not gonna happen, cutie pie.”
Lula was in Bohemian dress today with platform sandals, skintight poison-green tights, and a tie-dye tank top that was three sizes too small. The outfit was completed with a large faux-leather-fringed boho bag.
“We’re official bond enforcement people,” Lula said, rooting around in her bag. “We’re almost like police, and I got a gun in here somewhere.”
“I’m unarmed,” Cross said. “And I have Georgio as a witness. You can’t shoot me.”
“How about if I knock you down and sit on you until you turn blue?” Lula said.
Georgio unslouched himself and stood.
“This is ridiculous,” he said to Cross. “We’re already behind schedule. Carmine is going to be here any minute, and I’ve been notified that the plane is in place. Forget the packing. You can buy new. Everything in that suitcase is horribly wrinkled anyway. I mean honestly, you can’t just throw things in there.”
Lula was still pawing through the junk in her bag. “I was almost sure I put it in here.”
“As it turns out, I do have a gun,” Cross said, taking a Glock out of his suitcase. “And I don’t care if you’re armed or not, I’d shoot you without remorse, because that’s the kind of guy I am.”
“David Niven didn’t go around shooting people,” Lula said.
“I’m not David Niven.” He glanced at Georgio. “What should I do with them? Should I kill them? Cripple them? I could just shoot them in the knees.”
“Only if they don’t cooperate,” Georgio said. “I hate to see this carpet ruined. It’s hand-knotted from Nepal, and you know how difficult it is to remove bloodstains.”
A car horn honked outside.
“That’s Carmine,” Georgio sai
d. “We need to lock these two up somewhere.”
Cross looked around. “Everything locks from the inside.”
“The cellar door has a lock on it,” Georgio said. “We can put them in the cellar.”
“I’m not going in no cellar,” Lula said. “There’s always spiders in cellars.”
Cross fired off a shot that missed Lula’s little toe by an eighth of an inch.
“Okay,” Lula said. “Maybe just this once.”
Three minutes later we were standing in front of the cellar door.