There will be hell to pay if Ana ever finds out I’ve had a drink with Elena. She loathes Elena.
Christian—if that were your son, how would you feel?
Oh, Ana, Ana, Ana.
I don’t want to think about that.
Not now. It’s too raw and too painful.
I need oblivion.
I want to forget who I am, and how I’ve behaved.
The way I used to…before…everything.
Before Mrs. Robinson.
The barman looks my way.
“Bourbon, please.”
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
We’re here.” The driver turns and flashes me a wide big-toothed grin.
“Wha?” I’m in a car… A cab. My face is pressed against cool glass. My head is spinning. Shit. Closing one eye, I squint up at the building we’re parked outside. The brass lantern beckons bright in the darkness.
“Escala?” the driver says.
“Oh. Yeah.” From my inside pocket I fumble for my wallet and paw through the notes. I hand one to the cabdriver and hope it’s enough.
“Wow! Thanks!”
I open the car door and fall onto the sidewalk.
“Fuck.”
“You okay?” he calls.
“Yeah.” I lay there for a second, staring up at the night sky, waiting for the world to stop spinning. It’s clear and there are a few stars shining down, winking at me. It’s peaceful.
I’m lying on the sidewalk.
Get up, Grey.
A man looms over me, blotting out the light from the lantern, and for a moment a chill grips my heart. “Here.” He offers me his hand.
Oh, he’s here to help… Cab guy? Maybe. He hauls me to my feet.
“One too many, eh?”
“Yeah. More than one. I think.” I make a half-assed attempt to brush myself down, and the driver climbs back into his car. Turning around, I start to sway and use forward momentum to stagger into the building and over to the elevator. I’ll be okay if I can just get to bed. The elevator doors open and I stumble inside. I punch in the code…the elevator doesn’t move.
I try again.
Nothing.
Hell.
One more time.
I close one eye and jab at the buttons. That does the trick! The doors slide shut and the elevator hums, indicating some movement on its part… Wait, no—everything is moving. I lean against the wall and close my eyes to stop the spinning. The ping sounds. I’m here! I open my eyes and stumble out into the foyer.
Fuck. I bump into something.
Who the hell moved the foyer table?
“Shit!” Placing my hands on the table, I steady myself, but it fucking moves again, the scraping sound grating on what’s left of my nerves.
“Shit!” I make it to the double doors.
“Christian, are you okay?”
I look up, and there she is, dressed like a goddess on the silver screen.
Ana. My own Aphrodite. My wife. My heart fills with love and light. She’s so beautiful. “Mrs. Grey.” The doorjamb holds me up. “Oh, you look mighty fine, Anastashia.”
Suddenly she’s closer and I have to squint to bring her into focus.
“Where have you been?” She sounds worried.
Oh, no. I mustn’t tell her. She’ll be mad as hell. I bring my fingers to my lips. “Shh!”
“I think you’d better come to bed.”
Bed. With Ana. There is nowhere I would rather be. “With you.” I give her my best smile, but she’s frowning.
“Let me help you to bed. Lean on me.” She wraps her arm around my middle, and I lean against her, catching the scent of her hair.
Nectar. “You are very beautiful, Ana.”
“Christian, walk! I am going to put you to bed.”
She’s so bossy! But I want her happy. “Okay.” We move. Together. Down the corridor. One slow step at a time. And then we’re in our bedroom. “Bed.” It is a most welcome sight.
“Yes, bed,” Ana says. Her face is a blur. But it’s still lovely. I hold her to me.
“Join me.”
“Christian, I think you need some sleep.”
Oh, no. “And so it begins. I’ve heard about this.”
“Heard about what?”
“Babies mean no sex.”
“I’m sure that’s not true. Otherwise we’d all come from one-child families.”
Mrs. Grey has an answer for everything, with her smart mouth. “You’re funny.”
“You’re drunk.”
“Yes.” Very.
To forget.
There you are, you little shit.
“Come on, Christian,” Ana says. Gentle, compassionate Ana. “Let’s get you into bed.”
Suddenly I am on the bed.
It’s so comfortable.
I should just stay here.
She stands over me, dressed in silk or satin, as tempting as Eve herself. I hold my arms out to her. “Join me.”
“Let’s get you undressed first.”
Hmm… Naked. With Ana. “Now you’re talking.”
“Sit up. Let me take your jacket off.”
“The room is spinning.”
“Christian. Sit up!”
I smile up at her. “Mrs. Grey, you are a bossy little thing.”
“Yes. Do as you’re told and sit up.” She places her hands on her hips. She’s trying to look stern…I think. But she just looks lovely.
My wife.
My beloved wife.
Slowly, I wrestle with the bed, to sit up.
I win.
She grabs my tie.
And I think she’s trying to undress me. She’s close. So close. I drink in her unique scent. “You smell good.”