“Cam,” I said, voice low.
“I mean it,” he said. “I’ve been working for the Valentinos all this time, and I’ve seen how bad it can be. I know what these women go through, I know the dirty shit Ronan’s been up to. You think we can just turn our backs?”
“You’re only doing this for yourself,” I pressed.
“Damn right I am,” he said. “Because I want to help you. What the hell’s so wrong with that?”
He stood staring at me for a second and I stared back, not prepared to back down, but I didn’t have to. He returned to the stove and stirred, grunting with rage the whole time, before finally plating everything, slamming the food together like he wanted to beat the hell out of it.
I watched silently. He shoved a plate at me then sat down at the kitchen table, leaned over, and began eating.
I put my plate down across from him, but didn’t touch the food, and stayed on my feet.
“I don’t trust your family,” I said, and he didn’t look up at me, so I pushed on. “I’m worried your Don’s going to take those girls and keep them working instead of helping them. I’m worried that you’ll take down Ronan, and the girls will suffer for it somehow. I’m worried you’ll get someone killed.”
He pushed his plate away and glared at me. “What more do you want from me?” he asked. “You want me to be perfect? I can’t promise everyone’s going to walk away from this without bleeding. Don’t you get that? I’m going to bleed, too.”
“I don’t want any of that.”
He stood up abruptly, breathing hard. “How many more people do I need to kill? What more can I do for you until you get it, Irene? I want to help you.”
I took a step away as he came around the table toward me. “I never asked for your help.”
“But you need it.” He stared at me with raging fire and I felt that sudden thrill at the base of my spine again, like a magnet tugging me toward him. I resisted, kept backing up until I ran into the wall.
He didn’t stop.
“Do you remember why I was so mad at you back then?” I asked, voice almost a whisper.
He stood inches in front of me and put one hand on the wall to my right, practically pinning me there.
“I remember everything,” he said.
“I begged you not to go down that road,” I said. “You had so much potential, and you decided to waste it. And now you’re still barreling forward like you’ve got no choice.”
“What about you?” he asked, voice harsh. “You run away when things get tough and hide out in the streets, and now it’s like you forgot how to live like a normal person.”
“Maybe I did,” I said, tilting my chin up.
“You’ve done things you’re not proud of,” he whispered, and his other hand came up to touch my cheek.
I sucked in a breath and stopped the groan that came unbidden to my lips. God, whenever he touched me, I melted into a stupid puddle of need and want, but I couldn’t afford that, not right now.
“I know,” I said. “You don’t need to remind me.”
“It’s the same with me. I’m doing all this to survive, too.”
“Except you have a choice.”
“You did too.”
We stared at each other, not moving, inches apart, and god, I wanted it so badly I felt my legs tremble. He reached down and put one hand on my hips, and I pushed myself closer to him, back arched. His lips parted, head tilted to the side.
“I never had a choice,” he whispered. “It was the Valentino family or struggle my whole life. I don’t regret joining.”
“Then I don’t regret running away.” I put my hands on his chest like I was losing my mind. “Promise me you’re going to do everything you can to help those Healy girls.”
“I’ll do what I can,” he said.
My fingers dug into his shirt. “Promise,” I whispered, staring into his eyes.
“I promise,” he said, and then did the worst thing he could do, the thing I’d been wanting and dreading.
He kissed me, and god, it was as good as I feared.
His lips were supple but rough all at once, and his taste was like a freshly poured concrete mixed with spices. I pushed myself against him and let his arms wrap around me, powerful and intense, and I knew he could break me if he wanted.
But he was gentle as he pulled me over to the couch and dragged me down into his lap. I straddled him, back arched, kissing him slowly. He pulled my top off, tossed his aside, and kissed my neck, my chest, then unhooked my bra and palmed my breasts.
My skin tingled, my body shivered. This was something I’d wanted for so long, ever since we were kids. Cam was the one person that drove me wild, and I hated him for a little bit, hated him for turning his back on himself and throwing his life away in the service of some mafia.