I do.
I let him go.
I step back from him.
Not because of what he said he’d do if I didn’t.
But because of Fae.
Because he called me by the name he gave me.
A fake name.
A name that I held dear to my heart like a fool.
I clung to it at night. I put it under my pillow like a wish.
A name that made me feel like a real fairy.
His fairy.
“You’re an asshole,” I breathe out and almost cringe.
He said all these things to me and this is what I say to him?
This is all that I say to him?
This is the extent of my wrath?
“Now you know,” he drawls.
“I can’t believe I…” I trail off because I don’t know what to say.
I don’t know what to think. What to feel…
I wrap my arms around my waist and bite my lip before trying again. “So stupid…” I shake my head, unseeing. “I can’t believe I’ve been so stupid. I… God, I’ve been so foolish. I thought you… I fell in l –”
“You’re not going to say the L word, are you?” he says, cutting me off.
I draw back, as if he has struck me.
“Well, you were,” he murmurs and all I can do is stare at him silently.
All I can do is stare at the guy who’s standing in front of me in dark clothes, not one ounce of softness on him, staring back at me with emotionless wolf eyes as he says, “Let me tell you something about guys like me. Guys like me, we like to play. We like to break hearts. Just because we can. Just because it’s fun. You don’t fall for guys like me. You don’t pin your dreams and hopes on guys like me. You don’t lie for them. You don’t sneak around for them. You don’t knit them sweaters. You called me a villain, remember? That’s what I am. I like breaking hearts. I like breaking lovestruck dreams. I like feeding on the innocent love of innocent girls like you. What I don’t like is for that girl to stand in front of me and cry about it. I thought I told you that the only thing I love is my Mustang. I thought you understood. I thought you were smarter than that. I thought your brothers taught you everything.”
Smarter than that.
That’s what Con said to me, didn’t he?
He said that I was smarter.
He said that he trusted me.
And I lied to him.
I lied to all of them. To him, to Ledger.
Especially to Ledger.
The brother I have betrayed the most. I don’t even know how he is. I haven’t even seen him since the fight.
Because I came here.
Because I came running here to see the guy who lied to me.
Who lied and used me.
For soccer.
Who played with me and broke my heart because he wanted to win at a game.
I shake my head again, my vision getting blurred. “Yeah, I thought that too. I thought my brothers taught me everything. But apparently, they didn’t. Apparently, I’m just a stupid girl who fell for a villain.”
His features are tight now, stark and gorgeous and heartbreaking. “Well, consider this your first lesson in love and growing up.”
Yeah, my first lesson in heartbreak.
“See you around, Fae.”
With that he leaves.
As abruptly as he came into my life.
He walks back to that couch where the whole world is waiting for him with open arms. While mine is crumbling around me.
While my world is plagued with earthquakes and landslides, his simply blooms and sparkles, teeming with a new life, a new adventure.
He’s going to New York this fall, isn’t he?
Foolishly, I thought that we’d still keep in touch. That we’d find a way to be together. I even thought about spending the last month of school… being with him now that the championship game was over. Hanging out with him in the hallways, in the courtyard. Listening to music in his Mustang.
Yeah, I thought that.
In the deepest recess of my mind, I did think about life after the soccer rivalry comes to an end and after he leaves Bardstown High.
But as I found out tonight, I’m stupid.
And in love. With a villain.
With a guy who likes to break hearts.
***
I don’t remember walking out of that party.
I don’t remember finding Tempest out in the driveway either.
All I remember is that I’m here.
I’m outside, under the starry night and my best friend has a hold of my arm. She’s trying to get my attention. She’s asking me something, I know that.
But I’m too distracted.
I’m too focused on something that I saw as soon as I came outside.
In fact, it’s the first thing I remember seeing: a flash of white.
A bright, sparkly white.
Brighter than the moon even.
A white Mustang.
His white Mustang.
The only thing he loves.
That’s what he just said.
He said that the only thing he loves is his Mustang, and then all the numbness, all the fog that had surrounded me ever since he told me the truth, his truth, vanishes.