They watch her when she spins. When she rolls her hips and writhes her body. When she laughs.
Like she was doing tonight.
And I was right.
They were watching her. They were leering at her. A couple of them even dared to dance with her. I took care of that though. One look from across the distance and they skittered away like bugs.
Fucking pussies.
So I have thought about it, putting a stop to it and keeping her safe and in her dorm room where she belongs. But then Pest stopped me.
My sister reminded me that she’s there, at St. Mary’s, because of me. Her freedom was taken away after how I broke her heart so I really don’t have any say in the matter, in what she does or doesn’t do.
But fuck that.
Fuck that to fucking hell because this is about her safety. This is about her well-being. And she doesn’t just sneak out once a week. She does it twice.
Twice, for God’s sake.
At least, she did this week.
If I hadn’t been driving around last night, unable to go to sleep because I was back in this hellhole town, I never would’ve known.
It was pure coincidence.
Me coming upon her as she emerged from the woods. She was so engrossed in her own world that she didn’t even notice me, a car with glaring headlights down the road, and Jesus Christ, what the hell was she thinking?
That’s why I went.
That is the only reason why I went to that bar tonight, to give her a piece of my mind.
And because she was fucking crying at her studio and I… I just… needed to see her after that. But that’s it.
My fists are clenched as I clip into the phone, “I saw her.”
“And?”
“And what?”
Tempest sighs. “Oh my God, Reed. Talking to you is like pulling teeth.”
“Well, then there you go. You shouldn’t.”
“As if.” I bet she’s rolling her eyes. “I’m not letting you go so easily. This is the first time you’ve seen her in two years. Two years, Reed. I’ve been telling you and telling you to go back and see her. Or just talk to her, but you wouldn’t. So of course I’m gonna ask questions. And if you want me to leave you alone, you could just answer them and be done with it.”
She’s right. That’s the best course of action here.
“Fine. Ask your fucking questions.”
She squeals into the phone and I have to pull it away and wait for her to just fucking talk as I shake my head.
“Okay, so did you talk to her?” she asks excitedly.
I clench my jaw for a second before replying, “Yes.”
“What did you talk about?”
“Global warming.”
She sighs again but she isn’t deterred. “Okay, fine. Don’t tell me. Just tell me this: were you mean to her?”
“I’m never mean.”
“Oh my God.” She gasps again; my sister is dramatic. “You were, weren’t you? Why, Reed? You’re supposed to be nice to her. You know that she’s miserable in that place. You know that.”
I clutch the phone tightly. “Well, she wouldn’t be in that place if she hadn’t stolen my car.”
And if my father hadn’t fucked with her because of it.
“She stole your car because you were being a dick to her.”
“I was being honest.”
“Yes, and in the process you broke her heart. She was in love with you, Reed.”
There’s a pain in my chest.
Like someone has kicked it, my ribs, on purpose.
Like Ledger, her brother, has kicked my chest and punched my stomach because I broke her heart.
“And how is that my problem?” I snap into the phone, trying to ride through the burning pain. “I never asked her to fall in love with me. But she did, stupidly.”
I don’t do love. I don’t even know what love is.
All I know is that I have a father who may or may not be a fucking psychopath, whom I’d like to strangle with my bare hands one day. I don’t have space for anything else in my life other than that.
“Falling in love with you is not stupid,” Pest says.
I pinch the bridge of my nose as I sigh. “Yeah, let’s make a rule okay, Pest? When we talk to Reed, we don’t use the L word.”
I purposefully use the tone that I know she’ll hate. That’s the only way to get her to shut up. But again she isn’t deterred. “I’m not going to shut up, just so you know. I know you want me to but I’m not going to. I’m going to keep talking and I’m going to tell you that yes, you can be rude and very insensitive sometimes. For example, right now. And you can be controlling and you think you know everything but you’re not that bad, Reed. You think you are but you’re not. Look what you did for her. How you saved her —”