He was gone. She wasn’t ever getting him back.
She could have the pack back if she wanted.
But she didn’t. She wouldn’t.
She wouldn’t live with the people who reminded her of when she was whole and pure and good. She was something else now, something broken and corrupted, and she couldn’t face that kind of disappointment from the people she loved after everything that had happened to her.
“Well?” Reuben pressed.
“I’ll take it down.” It would be easier than explaining to him about how messed up she was. She guessed he knew already, though.
“Jae … ” He placed his large, cool hand over hers.
Crap, she winced, looking up into his face. She shouldn’t make eye contact with him. His black eyes asked for way more than she could give.
“Don’t.” She snatched her hand back.
He snapped up off the bed. “If you would just let me in, I could help you. Tell me what happened to you.”
No way. No one could ever know how bad it got.
At her silence, he heaved a heavy sigh. “Fine. I’ll let you sleep.”
“Okay.”
He turned to leave and then looked back at her. “Just so you know, we may have to leave the city. The rogues have cottoned on to the fact this is no longer an easy target for breaking coven law.”
She nodded, not caring where they went.
“I’m going out.”
Again she nodded. Reuben had a tendency to disappear now and then to goddess knows where. Jae didn’t ask about his mysterious loner ventures. That would imply she cared.
2
Midnight Rebel
As Caia finished the last sentence on her report for Marion, she eased back in her desk chair. The fading light outside brought memories she couldn’t dispel. It had been months now since she’d killed her uncle Ethan after his kidnapping and torture of Jaeden—since Sebastian had been murdered in the crossfire.
Months since the pack had seen any semblance of normalcy.
She turned and, like many nights, let her gaze drift outside her window and into the darkening woods. Jaeden had been gone for months, and only Caia, and perhaps Lucien, knew why. The torture she’d endured at Ethan’s hands was unimaginable, and Caia hadn’t been able to tell her family how bad it must’ve been for Jae to leave the pack.
Jaeden’s father, Dimitri, was distraught and constantly demanding Lucien do something about it, but one look at Caia’s face and Lucien knew it was best to leave Jaeden to come to terms with things by herself.
She was strong enough to make it through the cage, so she was strong enough to be alone.
But it wasn’t forever. Caia was giving her another month, and if she wasn’t back by then, she’d fulfill Dimitri’s wishes and bring her back to the pack herself.
Caia sighed, her eyes drifting down and across her bed, and with it, heated memories flooded her. Dear goddess, she scoffed. She was lucky she hadn’t fallen pregnant! Since lykans couldn’t carry disease, nor become pregnant unless mated, protection during sex was usually only necessary for mated couples who weren’t ready for children. Since she and Lucien had no idea having sex would cement their betrothal, they hadn’t used any protection.
Yeesh.
She was sooo lucky she hadn’t gotten pregnant.
The close call, however, didn’t stop her from yearning … remembering. She could no longer look at her bed without a reminder of the night she gave herself to him, the night when, for once, they’d been in total agreement about something, safe together, passionate, happy. The moment hadn’t lasted, and ever since there’d been a constant tension between them despite their “united front.”
She missed him.
“Caia.”
The familiar voice sent a wave a longing through her and she turned to stare up into his silver eyes. “Yeah?”
Lucien threw her a sympathetic look, acknowledging how tired she was. “Marion’s here.”
She smiled wearily and stood, gathering her papers. They walked in silence down the stairs and into the sitting room where Marion sat having tea, and Saffron, her faerie, stood studying her cuticles in utter boredom.
“Ah, Caia.” Marion smiled warmly in greeting.
For the past few months, Marion’s weekly visits had been the pack’s only constant. Pack runs had dwindled—there had been two rather shabbily put-together ventures, and even then, the mood had been melancholy. School was out for the summer for Mal and the others, and Caia, lucky to have finished her finals, couldn’t enjoy graduation since Jaeden had missed it and she had only Alexa to share it with. And any plan Caia had had for the future was gone: no college, no apprenticeships, no job. Her job was here, training with Marion, writing reports on the activities of the Midnight Coven.
As the weeks passed and her reports proved more and more helpful, the more Marion had hinted at Marita’s growing curiosity. The day was coming when Marita would ask to meet Caia, ask for her to come to the Center, maybe even take a physical part in the war.