Aw, crap, her life was so over.
She heaved a heavy sigh and flopped onto the nearest bed, placing the gun gently on the bedside table. She couldn’t look at him as she began. “I don’t know. I can move things with my mind, I guess.”
“Like Caia?”
No, not like Caia! she wanted to scream. Caia could do that because she was born to do it. Half magik, half lykan. She hadn’t been tortured to near death and imbued with her torturer’s gift for “Look, no hands!”
Instead she shrugged. “I don’t know. I think …”
“You think?” he prodded gently.
She curled her hands into fists. She didn’t want to talk about this. How dare he force her to talk about it! It was none of his damn business!
“Jae?”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” she clipped out.
“Well, you’re going to have to.”
Her eyes flashed up to meet his, blazing with shame and fury. “Go to Hades, Ryder!”
He flinched, obviously taken aback by the venom in her voice. “Jae—”
“What, are you deaf? I don’t want to discuss it. Not with Caia, not with my dad, not with Lucien, and most definitely not with a Rogue Hunter who takes nothing seriously.”
A growl that built into a near roar ripped out of him, and he suddenly had her by her upper arms, shaking her like a rag doll.
“Let go!” she yelled, pulling and twisting in his grasp.
“No! You’re going to tell me what is going on. Now!”
She’d never seen Ryder angry before. He was the most together male lykan she’d ever met. She began to tremble. Oh goddess, don’t let me cry. No!
The tears streamed down her face with a mind of their own, and she felt Ryder’s death grip ease. Abruptly, she was pressed against him, her face snuggled into his chest while he stroked her hair.
“Damn it, don’t cry, Jae, please don’t cry. You know I can’t stand to see a woman cry.”
“I’m s-s-sorry,” she managed, hiccupping. But the tears wouldn’t stop. She continued to sob in his arms as he cradled her against him, whispering soothing words in her ear.
She cried all the tears she hadn’t allowed herself until now. She cried for the way her captivity had broken her innocence and faith; she cried for letting fear get the best of her; she cried for the sharp, breathless pain any remembrance of Sebastian brought; and she cried for the shame of having the telekinesis as a permanent scar from Ethan’s torture.
After a while, her tears subsided, her trembling eased, and she managed to catch her breath.
“I’m sorry,” she apologized hoarsely, trying to pull away. But Ryder wouldn’t let her. Instead he brushed her hair aside, stroking her face tenderly. His warm eyes seared into her own cool ones.
“Don’t be. I think it was a long time coming.”
She nodded, unable to tear her gaze from his.
“Jaeden …” He seemed reluctant to continue.
She decided to put him out of his misery. “I have telekinesis because of Ethan.”
He shook his head. “How did that happen?”
Sucking in a deep breath, she prepared herself to say the words out loud. Admitting it all would just make it … real.
“He tortured me for weeks. He was a fire magik. A good one. Very inventive … creative.” She laughed bitterly. “He used fire as a whip. He lashed me dozens of times and then allowed me a day to heal before he’d start again. Sometimes he didn’t use fire … he would just use his energy to slice me open.”
“Oh god—” Ryder’s hold on her tightened, his lips pressed thin with white fury.
“He used to play bloody tic-tac-toe on my stomach, or quiz me about literature, movies … whatever. And if I got the answer wrong, he’d score my skin … everywhere. My back, my legs, my breasts, my face, my arms. Sometimes he would use this illusion on me, make me think my body was burning from the inside out. I’d scream and scream until I passed out with the pain, and then when I woke up … I-I was okay again. Then he would start all over, laughing the more I screamed, the more—”
“Sshhh.” He crushed her so tightly against him, she could hardly breathe. “I don’t know if I can hear anymore.”
“I’m just trying to explain.” Her voice was muffled against his throat. “He used his energy on me so much that I think it seeped into my blood.”
“Can you do anything else?”
“No.” She managed to pull away. “Just telekinesis. I ran away because I couldn’t control it.”
“And now?”
“I’m getting better. When I have nightmares, I can’t control it at all.”
His jaw clenched, his eyes blazing. “Do you have nightmares often?”
“Sometimes.”
“Jae …” His eyes glistened and he abruptly looked away, fighting his emotions. “We should have gotten to you sooner.”
“No!” She grabbed his arm, tugging him back to face her. “Don’t. You all saved me. Don’t do that.”