Pulling a con job on people that dangerous? Did he actually expect it wouldn’t blow back on his family?
But what’s done is done.
He’s gone, and Felicity’s here.
There’s something inside me that needs to make sure she stays here, alive and well and safe, free from the Lockwoods’ devilish influence.
If I was a more reckless man, I’d go in guns blazing.
One-man tank, straight to their headquarters and down their gullet. I’d bring enough explosives to make sure they’d never hurt anyone again.
That’s a damned good way to get slaughtered, though, and then there’d be no one here for Fliss.
My jaw pinches like a vise and my vision swirls through dark and red and so many blood-streaked stars.
I can’t be stupid.
She’s counting on me.
I have to protect her.
Eventually, she goes silent against me, stilling, her rough sobs easing to erratic sniffles. Then just rasping, soft breaths till she’s a slender bundle of warmth pressed to my side, her body so limp I almost wonder if she’s fallen asleep.
But after a moment, I hear her.
“Sorry,” she whispers, barely there and bleeding anguish.
“I told you, lady. No more apologies. Once was too much when I know you’d never want to inflict this shit on anybody.” I stroke my hand down her arm, grazing her softness under my palm, keeping up a soothing rhythm.
“Alaska, I—”
“You didn’t make this mess,” I bite off before she can say another word. I can’t fucking help it. “You just got stuck with cleanup duty.”
“But I pulled you into it,” she says morosely.
“I stepped in willingly,” I remind her. “You didn’t know what you’d find at the bottom of Glass Lake. I’m the dude who helped dredge it up. Even then, you tried to keep me from getting too involved. What’d I do, Fliss? I dived in deeper, for you. That was my choice—the same decision I’d make a hundred more times. You leave it to me, I’ll get out, too. Get us out, if you’ll trust me.”
A thick sigh leaves her lungs.
She braces her hands against my chest, pushing up and looking at me strangely.
“I don’t understand. How?”
“Haven’t figured that part out yet. I’m working on it.” I smile wryly, looking down at her, bathing in her heat.
Fuck, her skin feels deliciously warm, even while we’ve been talking cloak and dagger secrets, fears, guilt.
She’s so close—we didn’t even turn the lights on—and it’s an alluring effect.
She’s all blue shadows and mellow highlights in the faint slip of light spilling in from the porch. My eyes ignite the rest of me a little more with every second they’re glued to her.
“Listen, your ma’s in Idaho, right? I can start by calling an old buddy from the SEALs who lives in the area and putting him on watch. No one will get near her with him on guard.”
“You...would?” Her eyes start to well up again. “You’d do that for me?”
I’m starting to think I’d do anything for this woman.
Especially when it seems like her pride might be slipping just enough to let me.
“Hey. No looking at me like that. I’ve got you and we’ve got this.” I can’t resist, then, touching my fingertips under her chin, stroking the soft skin there. “How much do you know about Navy SEALs?”
She hesitates, a half smile pulling at her lips.
“Not a lot, really.” Her gaze flicks over my face, puzzled, luminously wet in the dark. “I know I’ve never seen one who isn’t gorgeous. It’s like they sculpt the good looks into you.”
Shit, here we go.
Don’t think a girl’s ever called me gorgeous before.
I clear my throat, ignoring the weight below my belt, my cheeks burning under my beard.
“They train a lot into us, yeah, but I think the best they can do in that department is honing our physiques.” I offer her a small smile. “Anyhow, during SEAL training, they put you through pure hell. Every hardship’s made with a precision designed to break you. And you will break.”
“Did you?” she asks with a slight gasp.
“I did. Everyone does. That’s the point. The bigger question is whether you break and fall apart—or do you reforge those shattered pieces into something newer and stronger? Something that can withstand more, hold together in the next round, till they can’t break you the same way. It’s brutal. Mental, physical, soul...it tests everything in you.”
For me, it was simulated waterboarding.
I still remember it. The terror, how deep it ran. The panic of being suffocated by the incessant flood, dousing my face for hours.
Then the defeat, the realization that there was no way to stop it, no way to shut it down, no way to save myself.
Just this yawning hopelessness like it would never end, that I’d always be a human body set on fire by water, and even if I gave up, I’d still keep drowning.
No reason to give up, then.