Adiron (Corsair Brothers 1)

I immediately stop drumming. "You didn't like it."

Her eyes go even wider, which I didn't think was possible. She puts her glass down and leans over to touch my hand. "No, no, not at all, Adiron! That was lovely! It was just…wow…" She pauses, blinking. "It was…"

"A joke," I cut in. "It was a joke."

Realization dawns on her and she slaps my arm. "You son of a bitch! I thought that was real!"

I laugh.

She buries her face in her hands, her shoulders shaking with silent amusement. "I hate you," she eventually wheezes, and her tone makes it very clear that she does not, in fact, hate me.

"If it makes you feel any better, it's a really old song from where I come from, and it always made my sister Zoey crack up." I love her reaction, how her face lights up with amusement, and how she laughs so hard that her eyes get wet. Kef me, I love a woman that knows how to laugh. Jade does it magnificently, too. Her tits jiggle in that low neckline of hers, enticing me with that dusky brown cleavage that's just begging to be caressed. She's seated now, but earlier I got a great glimpse of curvy, dainty legs and her ample backside outlined in that dress she's wearing. It makes me want to flip that hem up and touch her.

I wonder if it'd be too forward of me to ask her to sit on my plate and be my dinner? Probably.

Jade's mirth fades, and she leans back, laughing and breathless, her hand on her stomach. "I haven't laughed so hard in forever."

"Well, this evening is just getting started," I tell her, encouraged. "Now that the entertainment portion is over, shall we commence with the food?"

"I can hardly wait," she teases, her smile bright.

I'm absolutely dazzled by that smile. I want to just bask in the warmth of it, but it's my duty to entertain (and hopefully woo) her. I head over to the two bowls I've prepared, the contents covered by a warming lid. I pretend to be one of the snotty waiters that were always in Zoey's vids, and hold the tray out to Jade. "The finest military-grade noodles for you, female," I say in a severe voice, bowing over the food.

Jade erupts into new laughter, clapping her hands. "You're such a liar! I thought you were going to give me something new to eat!"

"Well, it's a bit of new and old." I take the lid off the bowl and set it before her. The noodles are bright red, which makes her give me a look of mild alarm. "It's the same old noodles, but a special recipe." I set my own bowl down in front of my seat. "Let's just say that it's a couple of ingredients, that when mixed together, cause a flavor combination that was much beloved by my human sister." I'm personally not a fan of it, but I'd chew on a boot all night long if it meant I could stare at Jade while doing so.

She twirls a noodle onto her eating sticks and takes a hesitant bite. After a moment, her expression changes to one of wonder. "Cheese pizza. It tastes like cheese pizza."

I grin. "Yeah."

"That's amazing," Jade cries, and takes a larger bite, leaning over her bowl to slurp up the noodles. "How did you do this? Can we have this every night?"

"Like I said, it's a couple of spices that, ah, aren't normally combined together. And no, you can't have it often, I'm afraid." I grimace. "In fact, I don't even think you should have seconds. It's a spice that my people put in mixed drinks, but it's known to cause a bit of…gastric distress amongst humans."

Jade pauses, mid chew. She puts a napkin to her mouth, her actions fascinatingly dainty, and asks, "Gastric distress?"

I nod solemnly. "We found out the hard way that it's rough on human systems. You've never seen three pirates move faster than when their little sister is making distressed sounds in the lavatory."

Her shoulders shake with laughter again. "I'm going to finish eating—if it's safe—and then you're going to tell me that story."

"It's safe, I promise you. The last thing I want is to poison you." I take a big bite of the oddly flavored food. "And we found out the hard way. Zoey was addicted to flavoring her noodles like that and we couldn't figure out why she—"

"After," Jade warns me again. "Tell me after!"

We eat, and I'm pleased to see that Jade doesn't pick at her food. She eats with hearty enthusiasm, just like me, and when we're done, I clear the dishes and offer her a hot cup of tea. I tell her my Zoey stories as we sip our after-dinner drinks, and she laughs so hard at my coarse tales that more tears stream from her eyes. Zo would probably kill me if she ever knew I was telling these stories, but I'll take that chance later. For now, I'm just happy that Jade's having a good time.