Adiron (Corsair Brothers 1)

Kef me. A horrible thought crosses my mind.

I study Jade's face, looking for answers. What does a human look like when they're sick? Do they look haggard? Circles under the eyes? Because Jade has both. I thought it was because of what we've been through, but now I'm wondering. "Are you dying?" I choke out.

If she's dying, she's going to take me with her. I can't imagine a life without a happy, healthy, smiling Jade.

Her eyes go wide and her mouth drops open. She squeezes my hand, shaking her head. "Adiron, I'm not dying—"

"You wouldn't tell me if you were," I point out. "You don't like it when I worry—"

"Adi—"

My mind is racing. If she's sick, we can fix this. There are doctors out there that know about treating humans. "Change of plans," I say abruptly. "We have the Jabberwock abandon the Buoyant Star. We can get to Jerrok's asteroid a lot faster that way, and once we get the Sister, we can find a doctor—"

"Adiron," Jade says softly. She reaches out and touches my chin, directing my gaze to hers. "I'm not dying."

"Jade—"

"I'm pregnant."

I blink. "You're what?"

"Pregnant." The worried look crosses her face again. It's the same expression she's worn for the last day—the slightly pinched, slightly distant, stressed expression. "I think they did something to me when I was sleeping. Modified something. At any rate, I'm pregnant, and you're the father, and we're going to have a baby."

I stare at her. "You're not…dying?"

"No." Her expression is grave. "I found out when they did a medical scan on me before they put me into stasis, back on Shaalyn's ship. I'm pregnant, and that's why I'm sick. I wasn't sure how you'd feel about being a father, and so I've sat on the news, but I figured it was time to tell you—"

Before she can finish, I reach over and haul her out of her seat, tugging her into my lap. She sprawls against me, her arms going around my neck, her thighs straddling mine, a confused expression on her face. I look up at her…and then I crush her against me in a tight, relieved hug. I bury my face against her neck and hold her tight.

My mate. My keffing beautiful, perfect mate.

“Adi?" Jade asks. "Your horns are in my face…"

I swing my head wide, so I don't jab her in the face. I don't let go of her, though. I don't think I'll ever let go. I keep her tight on my lap, running my hands up and down her body. She's pregnant. My mate is pregnant with my baby. I stare down at her belly. It's always been rounded, which I love. I know it's too early to see evidence of our child, but I look anyhow. Just because. "Jade."

"If you ask me how it happened, I'm going to be very disappointed," she teases, her voice falsely light. There's a hint of nervousness on her face. "I'm not sure how you feel about being a father, but…I don't think I want to get rid of it."

Startled, I meet her eyes again. "No. Don't get rid of it." I put my hand to her stomach. "Please."

"Then you…you're happy?" She looks as if she desperately needs reassurance. "Tell me what you're thinking. It's not something we've ever talked about and I know it's a big change…" Her voice trails off and she looks ready to cry. "I just don't want to mess up what we have."

It's moments like this that I wish I had a smooth tongue like Mathiras. I wish I'm not the dumb one. I wish I could think of beautiful, reassuring things to say that would make the worry ease off of her face. That I could tell her that I'm utterly flummoxed, but in the best way. That I'm amazed that we've made a child between us. And that child will be incredible. It'll have her smarts (hopefully) and my…well, it'd probably be better if the baby was mostly Jade. She's smart and strong and proud and brave. We're going to have a family. A few years from now, I'll be able to hold my son or daughter in my arms. I'll be able to raise him or her just as we raised Zoey, and just as my father raised us.

It'll be a new person to look after, a new bruise in my heart. Already my chest aches with the thought, and I'm both terrified and elated and I want nothing more than to hold that child RIGHT NOW…even though I know I'm not ready. But I don't know how to sum all those things up. I don't know how to tell Jade how overwhelmed this makes me, or how much bigger my emotions feel at this moment. How I don't think I've ever been so happy, and yet it feels like more than that.