Sleeping with the Enemy (An Enemies to Lovers Collection)

“And you can tell all of that from a single conversation?” I don’t like the doubting, sneering, crybaby tone I’m using right now, but I can’t help it.

“I do.” Pappy S nods enthusiastically. “I’m going to pull the age card on you now. When you grow to be this old, you learn a thing or two along the way. Don’t tell me I’m wrong on this because I know I’m not. I’m a pretty good judge of a person by now.”

“What about the first two you sent my way? Those guys were terrible.”

“Alright, so maybe I had a bit more to learn, but I think I got it right this time. I just needed a few practice swings.”

“J Murphy already. I can’t believe this.” Now I’m getting huffy and stuffy even though I don’t want to be doing that either.

“Esme,” Pappy S sighs. “Just eat the burger, because it’s delicious, and spend some time thinking about what I’m going to tell you before you lay into Wilder. Not every guy is shit. Some guys are honest, and some guys keep their word. He didn’t tell you because I asked him not to. But clearly, he did tell you something, so I think that means he cares and doesn’t want to lie to you. He probably would have told you everything in time. You won’t be happy going through life if you never take a chance on someone and never give people a fair shake because of the assholes who went before them and mucked that road up. You should learn to trust again. Sometimes, you will be let down, but no matter what happens, know that Wilder will keep his word. He wasn’t just in it for the car, I’m sure. If he was kind to you, if he opened up to you, and if he was a real friend, then that was all real because I never told him to fake any of it. I said the car was his if he moved in, got through six months, and looked out for you after that. That was it. He shook on it as he’s a man who believes in his handshake. If you feel something for him, I think it’s real too, and you should trust it. Don’t make him pay for what I asked him to do.”

“That’s fine for you to say! You haven’t been sl—” Fuck nuts. I shut that down fast. Yeah, I was about to blurt something about sleeping with the guy right to my great-grandfather. Instead, I press my lips together into a tight line so the words can’t get out.

“No, I haven’t been living with him,” Pappy S confirms. “But I did take his measure, and if you feel something, I hope you don’t shut it down because no life is worth living like that. If you want something, work hard for it, and if you enjoy something, don’t punish yourself by going without it because you’re scared. There’s nothing wrong with loving, loving big, and loving hard.”

“That’s fine for you to say!” I grumble. “Look at how it’s turned out for me.”

“Even when you love someone, and you love them until they’re gone, even if they’re faithful and you live a beautiful life together, it still hurts like a son of a b when they’re gone, but that doesn’t mean I regret a second of it. And you don’t stop loving even though it does hurt. It hurts every darn second, but you learn to walk through it. It’s not any better being alone, not loving and not getting hurt than loving and getting burned. The fire flickers just about the same, so I guess you just have to make a choice on the kind of burn you’d like to live with.”

“How do you live with it while you’re being consumed by it? How do I know I’m not making a mistake?”

“You don’t, but that’s just life. A lot of it sucks, so you just have to do the best you can and make the most out of it as possible,” Pappy S says.

“That’s very wise advice. I’m sure you aren’t saying it easily, but it’s no easier for me to live it.”

“Pooh,” Pappy S blurts. “I said none of it was easy, and lots of it is a bunch of BS, but again, that’s life. Now, how about that burger? I want you to eat it because I care about you and I love you, then I want you to seriously consider what I said about not giving Wilder the beat down and sending him packing over this. You got that?” Pappy S softens his words with a squeeze of my hand and a smile before he goes back to chopping up his remaining burger patties.

“Yup.” I know it’s redundant, but I still say it.