Sleeping with the Enemy (An Enemies to Lovers Collection)

Finn asked me about my grandparents, and I asked him about his mom. I just hope her health issues truly are minor, and Finn gets to say everything he wants to her. For all the years that have passed and the ones yet to come. I hope they can repair their relationship and start over. That hopefully, they can work on it for years yet. I truly can’t imagine how I would feel if I was Finn right now. I’d be devastated, more so because of all the years that I let pass by without doing something.

I know it’s not just my job to reach out to my grandparents. It’s a two-way street, but maybe Finn’s right about that too. Maybe they just need someone to make the first move.

My pen starts working as I spill my thoughts onto the paper. But not just my thoughts. I spill my emotions, my heart, and my soul. I lay it all down. My disappointment, my hurts, the things I wished for, all the great things that could still be in the future, and my regrets over not doing it sooner.

I thought it was impossible before, but I guess I thought a lot of things were impossible. As it turns out, they’re not. Maybe I just thought they were. Whatever happens with Finn, I just have to hope he comes back. And if he doesn’t? I guess I just have to hold onto the good things we shared. Often, the most beautiful things in life don’t last, but I can’t get bitter about that. I’ve already learned a lot in a really short time, and my heart is so much fuller now.

I drop the pen, dig out an envelope, fold the letter in three, and deposit it. I know exactly where my grandparents live, so I write out the address, stick a stamp on it, and thrust it into the pile of letters I have to mail the next time I go into town.

I didn’t have a trip planned, but as soon as a decent hour rolls around, I’ll call my parents and ask what they’re doing for dinner. Maybe tonight, tomorrow, the day after, soon. It’s been way too long since I thought I had any free time—way, way too long. I know free time won’t come out of thin air, but I’ll make it happen.

After that, I lean back in the chair, close my eyes, and think about Finn. He’s probably just about at the airport by now. I really hope he’s safe, even if it means he might not come back. And even if he does, will he leave again in six months? I know he said we’d figure it out, but I just don’t know what that means. Neither of us can see that far ahead. We didn’t see the call coming this morning, that’s for sure. Things can change so fast, and life is freaking hard. But all I can do is keep working my butt off here, trying to make a difference, and wait, even if the waiting is pretty much un-freaking-bearable.

CHAPTER 21

Finn

My life has changed so much over the past fourteen days that it’s a little bit surprising to see how the farm still looks exactly the same. The same long, twisty driveway and the same white clapboard house with the peeling paint—I really should do something about that. Maybe get scraping and put on a fresh coat of paint. The barn is still just as red, and the fields beyond stretch out behind the property in a sea of green-brown.

I’m driving a new car. Well, not a new-new car, but a new to me car that I bought after my flight the afternoon before. I didn’t tell Becki I was coming because I wanted it to be a surprise. The sedan is a trusty four-door, and it only cost me four grand. It’s much more practical than a rental since I know I’m here for the long haul if Becki will have me.

I turn down the drive and take my time. Becki knows her farm well, though, and I can’t sneak up on her. It’s just after lunch, and she tumbles out of the barn, hot, sticky, and dirt-smeared with her usual overalls and big huge rubber boots. I’ve honestly never seen a more beautiful sight in my entire life.

At first, when she spots me in the car, her eyes are wide with disbelief, and the rest of her face screws up in surprise. She doesn’t let her mouth hang open, though, because there’s a heck of a lot of gravel dust in the air after I just came down the driveway.

“Finn?” She gasps as I throw the door open and get out from behind the wheel. “Oh my god! Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”