The CEO & I

Should I tell him? Does he really need to know what’s going on between Luke and me? I bet he would love to hear that we aren’t working out. That Luke is off fucking everything that walks while my heart breaks more and more. I imagine myself taking Carl up to my room just as Luke is leaving his. He’ll get mad, and I’ll say, “If you can fuck whoever you want, so can I.” I almost burst into a mad giggle. I’m starting to feel quite light-headed. Maybe a bit crazy too.

“Well, I’ve realized something that I think might actually be pretty awful,” I say.

“What’s that?” Carl asks.

I take a sip of my drink. This one tastes more like tonic than it does vodka. I make a face. The bartender must think I’m a lightweight and can’t handle my alcohol. I finish the drink, fully aware I left Carl just hanging. I turn back to him. “I’m in love with Luke.”

“I’m well aware. It was the reason I hit on you. I like you. And I could see that a good dose of jealousy would do Luke good.”

“What? You knew I was in love with Luke that day?”

“Of course. I saw it a mile off.”

“How?”

“The way you were looking at him, but I know Luke is a tough nut to crack. He was fighting it, so I decided to help you by giving him a little push.” He grins. “I figured he’ll owe me, then.”

“No, you don’t get it. We aren’t together. I’m in love with him. He couldn’t give a shit about me.”

Hearing the words aloud is a kind of a revelation that I cannot ignore anymore. They couldn’t be truer if I pulled them out of a law book. We aren’t together. We never have been. And I shouldn’t be letting him get to me, and drinking my woes away at a hotel bar. I should be out sight-seeing and enjoying myself. I’ve finished everything I had to do for today. But even the thought of going sightseeing on my own makes me feel depressed.

“You still aren’t together?” Carl asks, surprised.

Chapter 20

Jade

I shake my head glumly while he slips the bartender money. I’m pretty sure he just bought me a drink, and I wonder what Luke would think if he saw it. Actually, I know exactly what he would think. He would think that Carl is trying to take me away from him. In the past, he would have got mad, but now I guess, he won’t give a shit.

“No, we aren’t together,” I say with a heavy sigh.

He frowns. ‘Why not?”

“It’s a long and pathetic story.”

“It can’t be worse than the lecture I should be listening to.”

I suppose it can’t hurt to talk to him. For some weird reason, he seems to be on my side. “First of all, thank you for trying to help me.” I wrinkle my nose. “By pretending to hit on me.”

He nods to acknowledge my gratitude.

“As you guessed, I’ve been secretly lusting after Luke for months now. Anyway, it all kicked off during this trip and we kinda started sleeping together. We went to a beach, and he asked me out on a real date last night, and I thought we were getting on really well. So he takes me to this really nice restaurant, and then in the middle of it, he wants to leave. So, we leave and when I force him to tell me why he was being such a dick, he told me this awful story about—”

I realize I’m rambling and stop before I tell Carl too much. As mad as I am with Luke, what he told me about his father is an intensely personal secret. Luke may have betrayed me by fucking someone else, but I won’t betray him. I skip over that part.

“Anyway,’ I continue, staring down at my drink. “He basically told me it’s hard for him to be with me. I told him if he doesn’t know what he wants, then I can’t do this. So we haven’t spoken since then. I left to do some last-minute things for a speech he is giving tomorrow. I come back to the suite and there’s a hooker leaving his room.” I say the word “hooker” way too loud, and it makes me cringe with shame. I look around to make sure no one heard me.

Carl chuckles.

“What?” I ask. “I don’t really see what’s so funny. My heart is broken. I’m sitting at a bar, day drinking with a guy who almost got his shit rocked for pretending to hit on me. There’s no humor in any of this.”

“You really love this man, don’t you?” he asks quietly.

I nod my head.

He looks at me and really studies my face. His eyes are so green and piercing they make me feel nervous and uncomfortable. Like an insect struggling on a pin.