God I Hate that Man

“You think I’m pretty?” I ask, raising an eyebrow.

“That’s not a compliment,” she clarifies briskly. “Do you have any idea how much of a turn off it is to women?”

“I hate to disillusion you Ashley, but I can say from personal experience that the majority of women would disagree with you there.”

“Ugh, you’re so gross,” she observes haughtily.

“So we’ve established,” I say easily and smile at her. “I think it’s fair to say we don’t like each other, and in any other circumstances, we’d sooner gouge our own eyes out than date each other.”

Ashley nods slowly. “Yeah, I think that about sums it up.”

“So in conclusion, Ashley Winters, I fucking hate you, but will you marry me, anyway?” I say with a smile.

Despite herself, Ashley laughs. With her defenses down, and a genuine laugh on her lips, she is… almost attractive.

But her laugh is truly infectious and I find myself laughing with her. I take a drink when I stop laughing and meet her eyes over the rim of the glass. I move the glass away from my mouth and hold her gaze a moment longer.

She looks away first.

“Is that a yes?” I ask when it becomes clear to me she isn’t quite ready to agree to this just yet.

She stares at the ground and swallows hard. This is obviously difficult for her to agree to.

“It’s really a no-brainer,” I say persuasively. “Since there’s no risk of either of us falling for the other and getting hurt. It’s only for a few months. Six months tops.”

She nods slightly.

“I would do anything to save this company, and although I don’t know you very well, I think it’s a safe assumption that you would do anything to help these kids.” I pause.

Ashley nods harder, confirming she would.

“As soon as all of the paperwork goes through turning the company over to me, we’ll get a quickie divorce and go our separate ways. The company will be mine and you’ll be able to help all the abused kids you want. What do you say?”

“I have a few conditions,” Ashley adds, raising her eyes up to me.

I nod at her stiffly, sure she’s going to ask for more money. I can probably swing a couple of things around and give her a little more in the beginning, but ultimately, the business is a business, and I can’t condone giving her a higher percentage of the takings.

“One,” she ticks it off on her thumb, “you don’t interfere with my work. You are not buying into the charity in any way that gets any sort of a say in how I run things. You are just a donor.”

Wow, it’s not about money? “Agreed,” I say instantly. “I have my hands full with my own company, but even if I didn’t I wouldn’t have the first idea where to start with running that kind of charity, anyway. Although, I will say that if you ever need any help with investments or anything like that, I’d be happy to let you talk to our guy.”

She nods, but she doesn’t accept the offer.

I don’t push it.

“Two,” she goes on. “I don’t expect you to stop seeing other women, but if we’re going to be publicly seen to be engaged and then married, you need to be subtle about it. I won’t be seen to be one of those women whose man cheats on them and they turn a blind eye to it all.”

I hadn’t even considered this part of it, but she’s right. I wouldn’t want to be seen as a lowlife whose wife is cheating on him either, because for this to work, we have to make it look like a real marriage. “Done,” I say again. “And that has to work both ways.”

“Don’t worry, I also have no intention of looking like some sort of slut who sleeps around outside of her marriage,” Ashley announces. “I have no objection if you do, I just don’t want to be the laughing stock of the city.”

I nod. “Got it.”

“And finally, number three. We don’t drag this out. We get married and divorced as quickly as possible.”

“Done,” I say again.

Ashley smiles at me and raises her glass.

I raise mine and we clink them together.

“Finn Jagger, I hate you too and I will be honored to be your fake wife.” She drains her drink and stands up.

I get to my feet with her and walk her towards the door. “I’ll sort the paperwork out for you to go over tomorrow. And I’ll call you within the next couple of days to arrange a lunch with my mother so we can start organizing the wedding. I’ll give you the first check at lunch too, unless you need it sooner?”

Ashley smiles. “That will be fine.” She starts to move away, but then she turns back, a genuinely horrified expression on her face. “Wait, you want me to meet your mother?”