It’s after eleven when I hear Ashley’s key rattling in the lock. I feel nervous suddenly, my palms sweating. I swallow hard and jump to my feet. I practically sprint to the mini bar and just manage to get behind it when the front door opens.
“Hey,” Ashley calls, looking a little surprised to see me.
“Hi,” I say. “Do you want a drink? You look like you’ve had a long day.”
She does look like she’s had a long day. Her face is pale, strained looking, and I can see how tired she is. She starts to shake her head, but then changes her mind. “I’d love one,” she says softly. “A very large Cognac if you have one, please.”
I nod and start to pour her a generous double as she puts her purse on the coffee table along with some files she is holding. Then she slips her coat off, lays it on the couch and takes her usual spot.
I decide I’m going to have a Cognac too. I carry our drinks over and mute the TV after I’ve handed her the drink.
She takes a good swallow of it. “Thanks,” she smiles. “That really hit the spot.” She nods at the TV. “You don’t have to mute it on my account.”
“I’ve seen it before, anyway.” I shrug.
She nods and takes another sip of her drink. I wait for her to say something, but she doesn’t. She just stares into space, sipping her drink. I don’t know why she has this effect on me. If another woman decided not to talk, I’d just get up and get on with my day. With her, I can’t do that. I didn’t want to make a big deal out of this, but I want her to know it doesn’t have to be this way. So I take a deep breath and plough into a semi-rehearsed speech I have been planning in case of this exact scenario, “Ashley, I told you that you were welcome to stay here and that you should make yourself comfortable,” I start.
“And what? You changed your mind?” She interrupts me.
This annoys me. She has to be the most annoying person I know. “No. No, of course not. I was just going to say that you don’t have to avoid me because of what happened. I want you to feel at home here.”
“I appreciate that, Finn, and I do feel at home here. But I’m confused. Do you think I’ve been avoiding you or something?”
“Well, haven’t you?” I challenge her. “You’ve been slipping out early, coming home late. And it’s the weekend.”
“You know, sometimes your arrogance surprises even me,” she notes, shaking her head. “Believe it or not Finn, not everything is about you.”
She says it with such venom in her voice that I’m actually shocked.
She shakes her head again, but this time, it must be at herself, because when she speaks again, her tone is softer, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I’m just a bit stressed out and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”
“It’s fine,” I reassure. I look at the almost empty glass in her hand. “Why don’t I fix you another drink and then you can tell me what’s bothering you.”
“You wouldn’t be interested,” she says quietly.
I stand up and take the glass from her hand.
She looks up at me.
“Well, probably not, if it’s not about me. But I can pretend to care,” I quip.
Ashley gives a soft laugh and nods. “Fine, I’ll tell you.”
I go and pour her another drink and come back to the couch. I look at her, nodding for her to begin talking.
She is silent.
For a moment, I think she’s changed her mind again.
Then she gives a soft laugh. “I don’t even know where to start. It’s just been one of those weekends where everything piles on, you know?”
I nod. I do know.
“It started with a furious phone call from our landlord because the rent for the office was late. I was able to deal with that courtesy of your check, so thank you for that.”
“How late was your rent?” I ask, with a frown.
“Late,” she says. “But not late enough to use all of the money you gave me. Anyway, once he left, I had a visit from a kid I’d never seen before. He told me he was worried about Alex, a kid who has been coming to us for a while now. He was getting clean, but the new kid thought he was going to slip up again after an unsuccessful meeting with his parents. He was right. By the time we found Alex, he’d overdosed. He’s in the hospital now and they think he’ll pull through, but it’s just so… so sad.”
“I’m sorry Ashley. That must have been hard.” I sigh.
“It was. And you know the worst part? As I sat by that kid’s bedside, praying he didn’t die, in my mind, I was doing sums and reallocating funds, trying to work out if we had the resources to send him to rehab again. Don’t worry, I’m not trying to up the game on you or anything like that.”