Pretty much all of the plans are in place for the wedding now, and the few bits that still need to be done are all in Damon’s hands. The RSVPs are all in and it’s on Damon to work out the numbers, make sure the right amount of meals and drinks are ordered, the wedding favors are all put together then delivered. And on the day, all I have to worry about is getting ready, with help from the professionals Helen has hired, of course. Damon will worry about everything else. I guess I can sort of understand the point of a wedding planner now. With so much going on, I would be a complete wreck right now if all of the responsibility were on my shoulders.
I finally got around to telling my parents that I’m engaged and they were so thrilled I instantly felt guilty I hadn’t told them the full story. It even helped to mend the argument my father and I had and led to him apologizing to me. I think they’re just relieved that I have something to focus on other than the charity.
Oh well, at least their joy at me having something more traditional going on in my life stopped them from asking a thousand and one awkward questions about why we’re moving so quickly with all of this and why Finn’s parents are happy to pay for everything. They probably think I’m pregnant or something.
Although I really wanted to tell them the truth about the marriage, I knew I couldn’t. The bridges my father and I have mended would be well and truly burned without any hope of fixing them if my parents found out my wedding is just a sham to get money for the charity. And here’s the thing… I don’t want to tell them and not just because of how disappointed they’ll be. I don’t want to tell them because in my heart, it no longer feels true. It’s not a sham.
What Finn and I have is beautiful.
I know logically that nothing has changed. Finn and I will still divorce down the road, but it feels different now. Both my best friends think I’m setting myself up to get hurt, but Finn and I have talked, and it seems like I’m not the only one who is starting to think this could be something more than a fake marriage.
Finn has cautiously admitted to me that he thinks of me as more than just a friend. The whole time he said it he kept staring at me warily as if I was going to jump up and bite him. I’ve admitted the same thing to him, but we’ve agreed to take it easy. That we’re not going to make a big deal out of it. We’re just going to take things one day at a time, but this feels special.
Finn doesn’t work late anymore unless he really can’t avoid it. And I spend more time thinking about Finn than I do about the charity which is a huge, big deal for me. Not because I’ve lost interest in the charity, but with Andrea there and enough money to do all the things we want, there is no longer a terrible stress of not knowing whether we’ll be around in the coming months.
We eat breakfast together every day ever since that night we had our heart to heart about Janette. He told me she’s his driver’s wife, which had been a huge relief. God, I wanted to eat him that night when he told me he wasn’t sleeping with her. Talking of food, he even buys food to have at home. Yogurt, fruit, eggs, bacon, and cereal for our breakfasts together… it’s a start.
We also make an effort to eat dinner together every night and we’re just enjoying the closeness between us. I haven’t slept in the guest bedroom since the last time Finn and I were together in there. It’s not even something we discuss now. We just go to bed together in Finn’s room and make love before falling asleep in each other’s arms.
It’s definitely more than just physical between us now though. The more time we spend together and get to know each other better, the more we see that we have so much in common. We haven’t come together the conventional way, but Arthur certainly made the right choice by forcing us to come together.
We talk about Finn’s business and my charity, and while we work in very different sectors, we both have the same fire, the same drive to succeed. We talk about our hopes and dreams for the future and they mostly align with each other, which is good because on most levels now, whenever I let myself think of the future, I see Finn beside me.
It’s fast becoming clear to me that I massively misjudged Finn. He was never the enemy. He’s not the person I thought he was at all. He’s ambitious, but ethical. He’s warm, kind and generous. He can make me laugh, even after days where everything has gone horribly wrong and I’m sure no one could make me laugh.