She is a vision and I know without a doubt that she is by far the most beautiful thing I have ever seen or will ever see again. My heart is hammering in my chest, a remnant of my total panic from earlier, but I can swallow again, which is something. I still feel nervous, but the urge to throw up or flake out has passed. Now I feel like this is normal wedding nerves, and all of those things I had blocked out worrying about when I was solely focused on whether or not Ashley would even show up, come rushing back in.
What if I make a mistake with the ring? Oh God, what if the ring is missing?
I tell myself none of it matters. All that matters is that I’m marrying the woman of my dreams, and it is the one thing I’m certain isn’t a mistake. It never could be. I still can’t resist glancing at Toby and mouthing, “You have the ring?”
He nods and pats his jacket on the spot where the inner pocket is.
I turn my gaze directly back to watch Ashley. I know it’s a cliché, but I really do only have eyes for her.
Ashley and her father reach the edge of the platform. She turns to face him for a moment.
He takes her hands in his and gently squeezes them.
Ashley and her father turn back to the platform.
Toby nudges me forward.
I remember what I’m supposed to be doing and I step forward.
Ashley’s father places her hand in mine, and nothing has ever felt so right. My whole body tingles from her touch as I watch her step onto the platform beside me.
She turns to face me.
I reach up and take her veil in my hands. My hands are shaking, but I ignore the nerves and slowly lift the veil and push it back. She’s wearing a silver and diamond tiara in her hair and I can see it now since the veil is pulled back, but I see it for only a second before my eyes lock on hers.
Her cheeks are flushed and glowing, but she looks nervous too.
I want to reach out and hold her, to wrap her in my arms and never let her go, but I know I can’t do that yet. I settle for leaning in close to her and whispering in her ear, “You look beautiful.”
She’s smiling when I stand back, tears shining in her perfectly made up eyes. She mouths a thank you at me and then I take her hand in mine and we turn to face the minister.
“Welcome ladies and gentleman, and thank you for coming together today to stand witness as Finn and Ashley celebrate their love for each other and become one. Marriage is not something to be entered into lightly. It’s a life-long commitment to love each other. And it is not really about today. Although today marks the first day of their journey together, marriage is about so much more than simply a wedding. It is about being there for each other through the good times and the bad times. It is about supporting each other, and becoming a team that will always stand together, no matter what.”
As he says the words, I risk a glance at Ashley. I expect her to look angry somehow, but she doesn’t.
She looks happy. She must feel my eyes on her because she turns her head to face me, and smiles at me.
Kevin is reading a poem now, one no doubt chosen from an approved list of my mother’s recommendations. I barely hear the words, focusing instead on Ashley, and for a minute, I am filled with regret. Not regret that I am marrying Ashley, but regret that I’m not giving her the wedding of her dreams. I’m giving her the wedding of my mom’s dreams.
I realize Kevin’s words at the start of the ceremony were true, perhaps truer for us than any other couple. Marriage isn’t about the wedding. It’s about being together in spite of the odds. It’s about having each other’s backs through everything that comes up over a lifetime together. It’s about being by each other’s sides through thick and thin.
Kevin finishes the poem and now he’s addressing us.
I force my eyes from Ashley and focus on his words. I’m bound to get something wrong if I’m not even listening to him.
“Marriage is a contract between two people, make no mistake about that,” Kevin continues.
Ashley glances at me and gives me a smug grin.
“But it’s not a contract written solely in black and white. It’s a contract between two hearts. Two hearts that promise to love each other for all eternity,” he goes on.
Now, it’s my turn to flash Ashley a smug grin.
Maybe we’re both right. Maybe marriage is a contract, but maybe it’s also about love and celebrating our relationship.