Jacob was a nice guy, but he wasn’t a partner, not someone long term. I cycled through this over and over and over, until I had the nerve to write a response.
No.
When I handed the note back to him, I had to firm my jaw to keep it from trembling. Jacob took it, read it, but didn’t move for a long while. Then he scribbled something else down and passed the note back.
Literally anywhere.
At literally any time.
I looked at the note, closed my eyes and took a deep breath. No. No, no, no, no, this was sweet, and nice, and romantic, but romantic gestures didn’t change compatibility, didn’t change the fact that he hadn’t fought for me when I’d needed him to. I couldn’t bring myself to write anything, this time, but I shook my head once.
“Why not?” Jacob asked.
It startled me, taking me a moment to process the fact that he’d said this out loud. The class had fallen silent, professor included. Jacob didn’t look angry, exactly, but rather perturbed.
“Why won’t you see me?” Jacob asked again. A titter ran through the class, and I felt my face heat up. My fingers started to shake a bit from the stress of it all, but I finally gathered the courage to respond.
“We’re just not meant to be, Jacob. I think you know that,” I said lowly, trying to keep everyone from hearing— there was no need for what would surely be a blow to his pride to be broadcast through the lecture hall.
To my surprise, Jacob smiled and shook his head, like I’d told a mildly funny joke. Suddenly he got to his feet. “Sasha Copeland, I’m standing up in front of an anthropology class, which I’m not even taking, and practically groveling. Believe me when I say that I’ve never pursued someone like this before. I’ve never wanted to before. You know my reputation, what it was before you got here—“ the class chuckled collectively, and even the professor nodded a little— “but then I met you, and that all changed.”
“Jacob, come on,” I said quietly. “It’s too complicated.”
“It doesn’t have to be,” Jacob answered, still speaking at full volume. He wanted everyone to hear this exchange. “Yeah, I’ll admit— and I think you know this— at first, I wanted you because it was such a crazy challenge when you didn’t respond to me. But then you became all I could think about. Football used to be my life, Sasha, and when it was gone, you were all I had. Now I’ve got football back and as it turns out, it’s not enough anymore. If I don’t have you, it doesn’t matter. The only thing that really matters to me is having you in my life again.”
Now the room gasped; I saw a few people had pulled out their cell phones and were taping the entire exchange. I hunted for words, but could find none, though I felt my eyes growing watery as I finally let my eyes lock on Jacob’s.
He kept talking. “When I was getting carted off in that ambulance after the Clemson game, everyone was talking about how maybe my career was over, but all I was thinking about was how sad I was that you weren’t there that day to watch me play. When Adams and Piper released that pathetic video, all I could think about was how you must have felt watching it.” He took a deep breath, then let it out. “And the NFL draft is coming up. That’s what I’ve spent my entire life waiting for. But all I could think about when I woke up today is how I haven’t kissed you in way too long. But I was trying to let go, because I thought maybe I wasn’t the right guy for you, like you told me the last time we were together.” He stared at me for a moment before continuing. “Except I realized today that I am the right guy for you, whether you know it or not. And I’m ready to prove it to you. So I’m not going to wait till tonight, or tomorrow, or the weekend to say this to you. I’m in love with you, Sasha, and…” he rubbed the back of his head and laughed a little, “that is particularly insane, given that you’ve never even been to a football game.”
“Seriously?” the professor asked.
“Seriously,” Jacob said, then turned back to me.
I was crying now, even though I was fairly certain it was making me look snotty and red-cheeked and generally unattractive.
He said he loves me. In front of everyone.
Jacob was watching me with stars in his eyes. He offered me his hand; I wiped the tears from my face, then accepted it, and rose to stand in front of him. He looked more confident now, that cocky expression spreading along his cheekbones— and it was a welcome look.