“Are you there?” I ask.
“He ripped your heart out and stomped on it, then he comes back, and in two days you’re on your damn back. What the hell, Bridget?”
I know.” I wince. “It sounds bad when you say it like that.”
“Like what? The truth?”
I roll my eyes. “Anyway… this morning—”
He cuts me off. “How was it, by the way?”
“Good.” I widen my eyes. “Great, as in life-changing.” I shake my head in disgust. “I asked him why he left me back then and why he said that his past would catch up with me.”
“What did he say to that?”
“Well, he got all defensive and told me he didn’t remember saying any of it, and then he said I was just looking for a fight.”
He eventually answers, “Okay.” He thinks for a moment. “And you didn’t think to have this conversation before you jumped on his dick?”
I cringe. “I did, but it didn’t happen.”
I can almost hear him roll his eyes through the phone line. “Okay, so then what happened?”
“Well, it’s confusing, but he has issues.”
“Ugh, you’re making excuses for him now. Like what?”
“His twin sister was murdered when he was twelve and his parents died not long after.”
“Fuck,” he whispers.
“And I think because he has never been made to talk things through with people, he just brushes everything under the carpet.”
“Why do you think that?”
“Because I asked him if he had seen anyone about the death of his sister, and he screamed at me and told me to leave her out of this.”
“Hmm.”
“So, it ended up him saying that if I wanted to talk about our future he would see me tonight, but if I wanted to fight about the past then he would see me around.”
Adrian stays silent.
I shake my head, because saying this out loud just cements that fact that I’m an idiot. “What do I do? Do I go along and not ask about our breakup or his past, and move forward with our future?”
“But how will you know that it won’t happen again the next time shit goes down? Is he just going to withdraw every time things gets too hard to talk about?”
“I… I don’t know,” I stammer. “That’s what I’m thinking.”
“And what about your needs? You need closure on that breakup, even if you don’t work it out with him. You need closure to move on with someone else.”
“I know I do. I tried to tell him that.”
“And what did he say?”
I blow out a breath as I try to remember. “I’m looking for a fight, or something lame.”
“Fuck him,” Adrian snaps. “He’s a selfish asshole. If he can’t understand that you want closure on the last breakup before he throws you around his bed, then you’re right, he has got fucking issues.”
I listen sadly.
“And…” he continues. “He’s the one who came back for you and demanded a second chance, remember? Not the other way around. If he is serious about wanting a future with you, he should man up.”
“Do you think he is?” I ask hopefully.
“I do. Well, I hope. You don’t move to the other side of the world for someone just for a booty call, now, do you?”
“I am amazing in bed. Anything is possible.” I smile.
He chuckles. “That goes without saying. I think you need to give him some time to think about this. If he is holding out on you, as we both suspect he is, then he would know that and he will also be testing you to see if he can get away with it.”
I listen as I think.
“How you let him treat you now in the early stages is the standard you are setting for how he can treat you in the future. If you put up with crap now, then you will only ever get crap from him,” he continues.
“But what if he is seriously damaged and he needs my help to overcome these obstacles?” I ask.
“Then he tells you he needs some time. He doesn’t dismiss you as a drama queen. He has no regard for your feelings, Bridget. I think he made that clear when he came back and demanded a second chance with his sleazy texts. You want a boyfriend you can discuss your feelings with openly, Didge. This isn’t high school.”
I exhale heavily. “You’re right.” I think for a moment. “I’m not calling him. If he wants to see me, then he can make the effort.”
“Good. When is your trip?”
“Two weeks.”
“And you are gone for how long?”
“Three weeks.”
“Does he know that?”
I shrug. “I don’t know.”
“Honestly. Why did you sleep with him so soon? What the hell were you thinking?” He sighs.
I get a lump in my throat. “Because I missed him, and I care about him. I have this affection for him that I don’t have for anyone else.” I pause. “I feel like he’s broken.”