The Mixtape

As he sang the words to the Spinners song, he held me closer to his toned body.

And I secretly pretended he was singing the lyrics to me.

22

OLIVER

“I hope these work,” I told Emery, handing her a pair of sweats and a T-shirt to wear for pajamas. We stood in the hallway, right outside her room for the night, where Reese was sleeping. Mom and Dad had headed to their bedroom for the night, and it was well past midnight.

“This is the second time I’m wearing your clothes,” she joked, taking them from me. “Soon I’ll just start shopping in your closet. Thank you, though. I really appreciate it. And I swear your kitchen will be spotless when I clean in the morning.”

“I’m not worried about that at all. I just hope you had a good night.”

“It was fantastic. Your parents are amazing. They are relationship goals. Honestly, they got me so lively that I’m not even tired yet.”

“Same.” I slid my hands into my pockets and swayed. “You want to exchange playlists until we get tired? Unless you wanted to be by yourself. I’m just curious about what some of your favorite songs might be.”

“I’d love that. I’m going to change, and I’ll meet you in the living room?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

I headed to the living room and gathered a few items for the impromptu listening session, including a couple of snacks, some drinks, and a deck of playing cards. I sat down at the coffee table, and the moment Emery turned the corner, my chest tightened. Even though she was drowning in my clothes, it somehow looked as if they fit her perfectly.

“Your clothes are more comfy than mine,” she said, cozying up against the fabric of the T-shirt I’d lent her.

Her locks were pulled up into a large messy bun on top of her head, except with two strays hanging on each side of her face. All the makeup had been removed from her skin, and somehow she looked even more beautiful than when she’d arrived that morning.

She took a seat beside me, and when her leg brushed against mine, I thought about what it would be like if her lips brushed against mine too.

She wiggled around a bit as she crossed her legs and grew comfortable; then she looked to the deck of cards and raised an eyebrow. “We’re playing games?”

“Sort of.” I picked up the deck of cards and started to shuffle them. “I used to do this with Alex when we were on the tour bus for hours. We set out a deck of cards, and each symbol stood for a theme. Then, we’d have to pick out a song for said theme based on what card we pulled. We can use our favorites list to pick out the song. All we need to do is pick four themes. But if you get the joker, it’s a wild card, and you can play whatever’s on your mind.”

“Oh, this is going to be amazing. Okay. Can I pick the themes?”

“Go for it.”

She rubbed her hands together with a devilish grin. “So, hearts will be love songs. Clubs will be songs that hype you up. Diamonds are songs that make you emotional. And spades will be wishes and hopes. How’s that?”

“Great.” I finished shuffling the deck and set it on the table.

“I’m going to add a rule to the game, though. We have to somewhat explain why we pick the song, and then at the end of playing, each person gets to ask one question during the game. It can be any kind of question. Nothing is off the table.”

The anxiety in me began to skyrocket at the idea of any type of question, but the bigger part of my brain wanted to ask her a question that had been passing through my mind over the past few weeks.

“Deal. Ladies first.”

Emery reached to the stack of cards and pulled out a card. Diamonds.

“Going straight to the emotions,” she laughed, and my God, I loved the sound. She picked up her phone and started shuffling through her playlist, swaying back and forth as she smiled at the songs in front of her. “Okay, got it!” She started playing the song, and I knew it right off the bat, probably because it was on my playlist too. “Trying My Best,” by Anson Seabra. “This one is for all the times I feel like I’m failing at being a mom. Reese looks at me as if I’m the best person in the world, but I fail her so many times. But at the end of the day, I really am trying my best.”

“You’re a great mom. And trust me, I know great parents.”

“I wish I could be half as good as your parents.”

“But you are. My parents’ love is loud when my own love for myself is quiet. That’s how you love Reese. You are her loudest love.”