The Mixtape

Mama narrowed her stare. “Don’t give me that slick college mouth, Emery. You may not live under my roof anymore, but you will not step foot into this house and act as if you are some independent woman who’s out there taking the world by storm. Don’t you forget who’s paying for that free life of yours in California.”

I went to argue with her, because unlike Sammie, I wasn’t afraid to speak up to my mother. Yet, before words could leave my mouth, my father held up a stern hand toward me, silencing me.

Within seconds, I was quiet. Even though Mama wasn’t scary, in my eyes, my father had a way of intimidating me with a simple wave of his hand. He hadn’t even needed to say anything to me. That simple hand raise to quiet a situation always sent chills down my spine in the most disturbing way.

My father never liked me. Sammie always disagreed whenever I’d say that, but that was simply her being nice. It was clear as day to me that my father didn’t have a drop of love for me, but he did love my sister.

While I looked like Mama, Sammie was Dad’s twin. They had the same nose, same ears, and same dimples. They were both tall and slim too. Their brown skin was shades lighter than mine and Mama’s. It wasn’t only physical features the two had in common; they also shared many hobbies together. They loved watching sports together. I was almost certain Sammie had joined the basketball team simply to appease our father.

One night, after a victorious game where she was the leading scorer, Sammie told me that she didn’t even love playing. When I told her she should quit, she laughed, saying Dad would never forgive her if she walked away from the court.

My sister was so obsessed with pleasing our parents that she never took a second to please herself.

Except for four months ago.

Except for when she’d finally put her hair down and allowed herself to be free.

And that was when everything took a turn for the worse.

“Explain yourself,” Dad commanded of Sammie.

Sammie’s gaze rose from the carpet she’d been staring at for the past ten minutes. Her lips parted to speak, and I hated how they were looking at her as if she was anything less than their daughter.

How were we both born from two people who were so cruel?

I stood close to Sammie and squeezed her hand, letting her know that still she wasn’t alone. “I’m here, Sammie,” I whispered. She lightly squeezed my hand back, and then she began speaking as we all listened closely.

“I went to a party with a few girls from the basketball team. I knew I shouldn’t have gone, but I wanted to be a normal kid for one night. So, I let loose. I . . . there—there was this guy . . . ,” she softly whispered, her voice trembling.

I stood up straighter and tilted my head. “What happened?”

“He asked me if I wanted to hook up. I said no to him. I know I was a little bit not myself, but I said no to him. Over and over again, I said no as he pinned me . . . as he undressed me . . . as he . . .”

Raped her . . . ?

No. Not Sammie. Not my baby sister.

“Do you know who it was, Sammie?” I asked as rage simmered beneath my skin.

“No . . . it was some college guy. That was how we got to talking. He was telling me how he was a big shot at his college, how he loved living away from home, and how I’d love it too. I-I never thought he’d—I thought . . .”

Her words faltered, and the pain in her brown eyes was deeper than the ocean.

“Did you get tested?” I asked. “Did you go to the hospital?”

She shook her head. “No. I . . . I didn’t mean for it to happen—”

“Were you showing off your body?” Mama asked.

“Mama!” I snapped, rage shooting through my whole system. My entire mind twisted at my mother’s question. What in the world did that have to do with anything that Sammie was telling us?

“Answer her,” Dad ordered.

Sammie shook her head. “No, I wasn’t. I was hanging out with my friends, Susie and Ruby.”

Mama huffed. “Those sinners who don’t do anything but play on their phones during church services. Of course. Were you drinking at the party? What in the world would make you think you should’ve even been at a party? Do you have any clue how this is going to make Devin look? How it will make us look? Goodness, I doubt we’ll even be able to step foot inside of that church again.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I snapped. “Did you not hear what happened to Sammie? What she just told us?”