“It’s none of your business,” she says, wrestling her hands from my grip. She stands and picks up her discarded flannel. I know she’s going to bolt, so I stand between her and the door, blocking.
“The fact that you just tried to put your mouth on my dick says otherwise.” Okay. Not the best delivery, but the point stands.
“Fuck you,” she spits, trying to move around me.
“Lo. Stop.” I hold her shoulders, trying to get her to meet my eyes. “I’m just…fuck, I’m concerned for you, okay?”
“I can take care of myself,” she insists, her voice still full of steel.
“I see that. I know that,” I agree. “But it doesn’t mean no one else can give a shit.”
Her shoulders sag, and I see some of the fight leave her. I can’t fault her for being closed off. I’m the fucking king of closed off—to everyone besides her, it seems. I’m a hypocrite. It’s like the blind leading the blind, but I’m trying here. Lo sits on the couch, pulling her unbuttoned flannel to cover her chest.
“It’s complicated.”
I wait for her to continue. She rolls her eyes and exhales harshly when she realizes I’m not going to let it go.
“Eric’s someone I used to…date.” She says the word date like it tastes sour in her mouth as she picks at her black nail polish. “He was my boss. It wasn’t healthy. He was manipulative and cruel…and most of all, a liar. Everyone thought he was this stand-up guy. He had me fooled for a long time, too…” She trails off. “I didn’t like who I was with him, so I left. He thought I’d come back. I didn’t. He’s not taking it well. The end.”
My gut tells me she’s oversimplifying things—that there’s more to this story. “When he calls you, what does he say?”
“He mostly just asks me to come back. But the less interested I seem, the pushier he gets.”
“Has he ever hurt you?” I ask with more bite than intended.
“Not physically. I’m not afraid of him,” she says, avoiding a straight answer, and I narrow my eyes. “I just want him to leave me alone.” She inhales deeply. “I just want to move on, but I can’t if he keeps calling me, reminding me of my mistakes.”
I get that more than most people. So many times, I’ve thought about picking up and leaving and starting over somewhere new where no one knows the gritty details of my past, but something has kept me rooted in River’s Edge. It wasn’t until I opened my shop—that I had something to stick around for, though I could relocate if I really wanted to.
“Why not just change your number?”
“I have. This number is brand-new. I don’t know how he got it. He’s very…resourceful.”
“Do you want me to talk to him?”
“God, no,” she say
s, horrified. “That would only make it worse. Trust me.”
We’re both quiet, neither of us knowing how to proceed. This girl. She’s beautiful and feral and confusing and messy. And that’s exactly why I need to stay away. Neither one of us has room for any more complications in our lives.
I swipe my shirt and hoodie off the floor, balling them up in my hands. “Let’s get you home.”
“Let’s get you home,” Dare says, his voice flat. I knew he’d think differently of me once I told him about Eric—and he doesn’t even know the whole story. Imagine what he’d think if he knew that Eric was also married. Is married.
I nod, tucking my hair behind my ears as I avert my eyes to hide the hurt. The shame. I’ve done a lot of fucked-up things in my life—hazard of growing up the way I did, I guess. I was taught to lie, cheat, and steal, to survive by any means necessary. But out of everything, Eric is the thing I’m most ashamed of. It’s not even the fact that he was married, though that doesn’t paint me in the best light. It’s the fact that I allowed myself to be one of those stupid fucking girls who falls for everything, as long as it comes from a pretty face.
Eric was larger than life. Successful, smart, charming, gorgeous, and completely intimidating…and he wanted me. A ghetto girl from Oakland. I was used to guys like him wanting my body for the night, but Eric…he wanted me. Forever. He preyed on my weaknesses. Preyed on the fact that I was poor and that I wanted to make a better life for Jess. Preyed on the fact that I was hungry for a better fucking life. Preyed on my love for his son, Cayden. He wanted me completely dependent on him.
His wife, Olivia, was too busy snorting pills and drinking vodka for me to ever question his lies. But I started to see Eric for who he was, and suddenly, Olivia’s behavior started to make sense to me. If I had stayed, that could’ve been my future.
The more Eric tried to control me, the more I pulled away. The money wasn’t worth it. None of it was. I stayed longer than I should have because I had this stupid notion that I was one of the only ones in Cayden’s life who even kind of had their shit together, but who was I kidding? I was the worst possible role model. In the end, I left a town that never loved me and a man who wanted to own me.
The keys on Dare’s belt loop jingle, pulling me from my thoughts. He’s sliding his T-shirt down over his head, and I can’t help but notice the way his tattooed muscles flex with the movement. The same ones I had my hands on two minutes ago, until he rejected me.
“Ready?” he asks, tossing his hoodie onto the back of his chair.
Wordlessly, I stand, following him out. When he stops to lock up, I don’t wait for him, heading straight for his truck instead. I hear the truck doors unlock as I approach. I lift one foot onto the bar and reach for the handle to hoist myself inside. I watch Dare as he moves toward me, head down, hands stuffed in his jeans pockets, but when he gets into the driver’s seat, I look anywhere but at him.