“Well, it just happens to be my first full day off. I thought I’d grab some groceries and other necessities. Look around for a place to rent.” Buying warm clothes is one less worry, thanks to him.
“Still want to get your tattoo?” He surprises me by asking. I smile, sheepish, having forgotten about that with everything else that went down.
“Clearly, the alcohol clouded my ability to think rationally. I can’t afford that right now.”
“Oh, you didn’t know about the employee discount? Free-ninety-nine.”
“I am not taking a free tattoo,” I say, bringing the warm cup of coffee to my lips.
“It’s only fair, since I get to pick what I put on you. It’s basically free advertisement. Really, I should be paying you.”
I laugh, shaking my head.
“I have some time around six. I wanted to talk to you about something anyway.”
Oh, come on.
“You can’t just say that and expect me not to freak out all day.”
Dare smirks. “Just come see me. Now, get out before you make your brother late for school.”
“Fine,” I say, opening the door, but he surprises me by grabbing my chin and pulling me in for a kiss. It’s slow, but chaste. He smooths his thumb across my chin as his eyes search mine, and there it is again. That shift. It leaves me breathless and hopeful and terrified all at once.
“Don’t mind me,” Jess says from the back seat, effectively ruining the moment.
“See you tonight,” Dare says, his voice husky. I nod before jumping out.
“Call me after school. And don’t forget to send me the details for your meet,” I say to Jess.
“I won’t.”
“Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
I shut the door and watch them drive away, thinking how strange it is that someone else is taking my brother to school. Things like that probably seem so trivial to most people, but it’s almost unfathomable to me that someone wants to share my load, to do something nice for nothing in return. It’s freeing, but it also makes me anxious and guilty. Like I shouldn’t be letting this happen. Like I should take care of my shit on my own. Like it somehow makes me less than for accepting help.
I stop inside to grab the keys to the 4Runner and a hair tie to throw my damp hair on top of my head. The temperature inside serves as a reminder that we need to find somewhere to go. Fast. I’ve been so busy with work and Dare—admittedly—that I haven’t had a chance to do much else.
I hit the local grocery store. Stocking up on food for the week that doesn’t require a microwave or refrigerating is harder than I thought. I grab some candles, wood for the fireplace, and splurge on some pricey protein bars, thinking Jess could use something to get him through these long wrestling days.
Afterward, I follow up with the only lead on a house I had, only to learn that they’ve already rented to someone else. I sit in my car, searching for rental listings on my phone. I can’t find anything even close to our budget. Not one thing. I drive through neighborhoods for hours—searching out For Rent signs—my frustration building with each failed block. I’m all but convinced that we’re going to have to move back to The Bay.
“Shit!” I take my anger out on my steering wheel, pounding my fists against the old cracked leather until my hands hurt. I know exactly what will happen if we move back. No school will take Jess back, so he’ll drop out. He’ll go back to selling drugs and hanging out with the wrong people. Mom will weasel her way back into our lives, and all of this, every single minute of it, will have been for nothing. I’ll have to leave this place and these people who have slowly started to feel like home. And Dare. I don’t even want to think about what that would mean for us.
Dropping my forehead to the steering wheel, I breathe deeply, willing my tears not to fall. I don’t know how many times I can fail before I just…give up. If it were just me, I would’ve throw
n in the towel long ago. But Jess? Jess is smart. He can actually go somewhere in life. He deserves the opportunity, and I thought I could give it to him.
My phone buzzes from the seat beside me, and I reach for it.
Jesse: Home. Power’s back on.
Huh. I wonder if it wasn’t shut off for non-payment. Must have been an outage. I never bothered to mention it to Henry because I figured he’d simply quit paying it since he was moving out.
Me: Nice. Upside-Down Day?
Jess: Hell yeah.