I nod, caught between two warring emotions. I’m elated for him, but I’m sad for me. He untangles our limbs and sits on the edge of the bed, resting his elbows on his knees, avoiding eye contact.
“Does Dash know?”
“Yes.” He looks over at me, and his eyes soften at his admission.
He never even bothered to tell me.
“I’m happy for you,” I say, my voice contradicting the words coming out of my mouth. “This is your chance.”
He nods, and we sit in strained silence, unsure of where to go from here.
I try to hold back the tears. To be a good friend and be happy for him, but my chin starts to wobble, and one, single tear runs down my cheek. Asher is in front of me in an instant, gripping my face with both hands, forcing me to look into his eyes.
“Don’t waste one fucking tear on me.”
I sniff and look away.
“Dash is losing his best friend. And so will I.”
“I’m not leaving tomorrow, or next week. We have time.”
“Promise me something.”
“What’s that?”
“Promise me you won’t leave without saying goodbye. Promise me I won’t be blindsided.”
“I promise,” he swears.
I nod, feeling slightly pacified. I want nothing more than for Asher to get the hell out of there, but selfishly, right now I can only think about losing him.
“When you leave…”
Asher watches me, waiting. “Yeah?”
“It won’t be forever, right?”
“I can’t promise you that.”
“You really need to work on this whole ‘comforting someone’ thing. You’re really bad at it,” I say, pulling back to look up at him. Ash is at least six feet tall, and I have to strain my neck to make eye contact when we’re this close.
“I’ve never had to do it before.”
“Why does it feel like we’re saying hello and goodbye all at the same time?” After years of tugging at his sleeve and following him like a lost puppy, I’ve finally gotten Asher’s attention in the way I’ve always wanted. But I’m not naïve enough to think that this could end well.
“Because once I leave, you’re going to forget this night ever happened.”
I lick my lips, and his eyes follow the movement.
“But you’re still here now, so…” I rise onto my tiptoes, circling my arms around his neck. Asher grips my waist and lifts. My legs automatically wrap around him.
“For once in my goddamn life, I’m trying to be the good guy, and you’re not making it easy.”
“I like you better when you’re bad.”
Something not unlike a growl is all I hear in response before his lips are on mine once again. Ash walks us over to the wall next to the window, still holding me by my ass. When my back hits the wall, his hands are free to roam. He smooths them up the outsides of my thighs and then either side of my waist. I hold on to his shoulders to keep from melting into a puddle at his feet as I feel it building again, and my hips shift in search of the friction I need, when I hear it.
Giggling. Feminine, annoying giggling.