“I shouldn’t have enjoyed that nearly as much as I did,” Kat admits, laughing. “I’m hungry. Let’s go get some funnel cake.”
Half an hour later, we’re hanging outside Kat’s trailer that she shares with a few of the other girls, listening to music and having drinks. I stopped drinking, not wanting to get sloppy drunk right before I meet up with Sebastian.
Miles is in the middle of lip syncing Orgy’s “Blue Monday” when Selina saunters up. The mood noticeably shifts, but no one says anything. She finds Colette, one of the Vixens, and the two of them make conversation a short distance away from us. Kat tosses me a look, shrugging her shoulders. Honestly, as long as I’m not her target, I don’t care that she’s here. This is her territory.
“I need water,” I announce, standing up from the folding chair. I make my way over to the cooler, digging around the melted ice in search of a water bottle, but all I can find are sodas and beer.
“You do know that it’s never going to happen between Sebastian and you, right?” Selina says by way of greeting.
I blow out a breath, shutting the cooler lid and shaking the icy water off my hand. “Hello, Selina. Nice to see you, too.”
“He doesn’t want a relationship,” she says, closing in on my personal space. “He wants to fuck dirty then go about his business. Little girls looking for fairy tales aren’t capable of that.”
“Oh, he knows exactly what I’m capable of.” I toss her a smile, seeing her mouth snap shut before I walk back toward Miles and Kat. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” Kat stands, hugging me, and Miles follows suit.
I make my way through the dark maze of trailers, wishing I brought my phone to provide some light. I walk in the general direction of where I know the bunkhouse is, figuring I’ll run into it eventually. It’s still relatively early. Most of the carnival workers are just getting off work, ready to party until the sun comes up.
Selina’s words play over in my head, and even though I know, realistically, that it was her insecurity talking, I don’t doubt the validity of her claims. Sebastian has made it more than clear that he’s not looking for a relationship. That’s not the part that’s bothering me, though. I’d be stupid to want a relationship with him. I’m only here for the summer, and the guy’s a nomad. Not exactly boyfriend material. It’s the dirty fucking, love ’em and leave ’em thing. I don’t want to be that girl, pining over a boy who took what he wanted until something better came along.
Lost in thought, I realize I have no idea where I am. Loud music and laughter bounce off the trees, making it next to impossible to tell which direction it’s coming from and I spin around, trying to pinpoint the sound. Finally, I come up to a small cargo trailer and let out a relieved breath. I must be back on the right track.
But my relief is short-lived, because someone comes up behind me, shoving me inside the trailer. I try to run back out, my heart hammering in my chest as the door slides down, slamming shut.
No no no no no.
“What are you doing?” I scream, pounding on the door, crouching down, trying to slide it back up. I hear a click, like a deadbolt locking into place, and my panic level skyrockets. I feel around the walls of the trailer, knowing there’s usually another door in these things, uncaring of the tiny splinters of wood that stick into my palms. I find the do
or, thank God, my hand pulling at the latch, but it’s locked, too. “Fuck!”
I kick the door, yelling until my voice gets hoarse, but no one hears me over the music. Taking a deep breath, I try to calm myself down. “There’s no reason to panic,” I say out loud, pacing back and forth. “Sebastian will come looking for me. Worst-case scenario, I have to stay in here until morning. It’s not the end of the world.”
I repeat the words in my head, still working on taking calming breaths, and it’s working until something crawls across the top of my foot. I scream, shaking my foot before running to the other side of the trailer.
Why didn’t I bring my phone?
I SIT ON THE COUCH in the bunkhouse, downing a bottle of water as I wait for Evan to get back. Kissing her in front of everyone was a bad idea, but when she walked up like she owned the place and everything in it—including me—I couldn’t deny her. I don’t know who I thought we were fooling anyway. Lathan’s black eye serves as a prime example. After eating Evan’s pussy, I went in search of Lathan. Once I found him, I hurled my fist into his face for trying to strong-arm her into leaving. You don’t punch your cousin and best friend over a girl you don’t give a fuck about.
After a minor scuffle, we sat down outside to clear the air. Eros and Tres were there, too, so we had an impromptu family meeting.
“No one gives a fuck if you like the chick,” Lathan said. “We had a deal. We all upheld our end of the deal because you insisted on it.”
“What exactly have I done?” I demanded. “Did I ask her to marry me? Did I knock her up? Because that was the agreement. An agreement we made when we were fucking twelve,” I point out. And it wasn’t just me. We all agreed. After watching my mom become a shell of herself, I knew I never wanted to leave anyone else behind.
Lathan worked his jaw back and forth, losing patience. “It’s different with her. I can practically see it happening. And if you get to find something good in this fucked-up mess, then…” he trailed off, but I heard his unspoken question. Then why can’t we?
I almost argued that he fucked around more than all of us with a new girl in every city, but then it clicked. Lathan had felt something for someone but didn’t act on it. And clearly, he was taking it out on Evan.
“Well, if the whole thing’s off, I’m going after Kat,” Eros announced, adding some levity to the conversation. We left it at that, neither one of us wanting to delve any deeper than we just had, agreeing, essentially, to mind our own business. We all knew what was at stake. There wasn’t a need to police each other.
“Your girl watches some weird shit,” Eros says, scrolling through Evan’s laptop, bringing me back to the present.
I slap the screen shut, smirking to myself when I remember how I caught her watching porn.
“Where is she, anyway?”
“That’s a good question.” She’s an hour late. Probably had too much to drink and lost track of time, if I had to guess. “She was supposed to meet me here. She was with Kat earlier.”
“Let’s go find our girl.”