Train Me Daddy

Fuck it!

Cold showers not even going to do or get rid of the anger that’s boiling inside of me right now. I pick up the phone and decide to have it out with him.

“Hello,” Granddad answers after the second ring.

“It’s me, Isaac! Did you send her to get me! And don’t lie to me, Granddad. I’ll find out the truth!”

I decide that with my painful hard-on and knowing that Olivia’s next door. I’ll just have it out with him. I can’t deal with any of this pussy footing around.

“Isaac, no, I didn’t even know she was there until she called me this afternoon. I thought she’ll change her mind about coming to Houston. She’s tried a couple of times and each time she chickens out. I couldn’t believe it when she said that she actually made it.”

“You didn’t tell her to come see me? Are you sure?”

I’m still not convinced that he’s telling me the truth. He hasn’t done it until now, why should it be any different. Besides this conversation’s useless. He’s not going to tell me the truth on the phone. I’m not sure why I’m even calling him.

“No, I wouldn’t even want he

r to drive on I-10. That road’s hell,” he sounds out of breath as if maybe he was in bed or something and the phone call woke him up.

“Well, she showed up at the office this morning and asked me if I wanted to go for coffee. I was sure that you sent her.” My voice softens a bit as I start to calm down, “So why did she come?”

“Isaac, haven’t you guessed the truth about her yet, that she’s a decent girl, country girl. Hell, she’s a cowgirl and the reason that I wanted you to get married. She's the type that’ll stay with you through thick and thin. Olivia’s so damn reliable that you can put a clock behind her and she’ll stick at the right time.”

“So you think that I need a clock to get on the straight and narrow?”

“No! What you need is someone to bring you out of the darkness, so that you can stop punishing yourself for the past. She reminds me a lot of your grandma. That’s why I like her so much.”

“More than Dede?”

Granddad says, “That’s not fair. I’m not going to compare the woman that you loved and lost to Olivia. But I will say this; she’s different. Dede decided to keep from you that she was carrying your baby. She knew the risks, and she was willing to take them.”

I cough, feeling the need for a drink as he relives my life. The part that I’m trying to keep deeply buried, “Dede was keeping our child to bring us together. I was too busy working and trying to get over mom’s death to see what was going on.”

Granddad sighs as we’ve had this decision so many times, “Son, we don’t know why she did it. All we know is that with her genetic heart defect, she shouldn’t ever be pregnant let alone attempt to have babies. She was offered the chance to have a hysterectomy, and she chose not to have one. That has nothing to do with you or I. That was her decision.”

There’s a moment of silence as I manage to find my whiskey bottle and debate whether to start drinking it. My erection that I had thinking about Olivia has turned my cock into a limp one. The same it does every time I talk about the past. I don’t even care about getting it on. All I can think about is talking to Dede. Telling her that it doesn’t matter if she can’t have children. I love her and getting down on one knee and giving her the one thing that she wanted, marriage. Grandad’s right no one knows what Dede was thinking, all I know is that I saw her when she was seven months pregnant on our bathroom floor begging me to help her up. By the time I did and took her to the hospital, it was too late. Our baby had died before then, and Dede did shortly after our baby.

Granddad clears his throat, “So, did you two have fun?”

The hope that I hear in his voice irritates me. I try to keep in mind that he’s an old man. One that’s supposedly dying, but the more I think about it. The more I doubt that even that’s true, but he knows what I’ve been through. He wouldn’t dare lie about that.

“Yeah, it was nice. Nice.”

“Where is she now?”

“In the guest bedroom, next to mine.”

“Really?”

“I didn’t realize that you were such a dirty old man, Granddad. I know what’s going through your mind.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Right. Okay, I’m going to bed . . . Alone!”

“Have a good night, son and I’ll see you at the ranch tomorrow.”

“’Bye!” I say and hang up.