“If that’s what you believed,” Harrison asked, “why did you start dating her in the first place?”
“Because she turned my world upside down. I could no more stay away from her than stop breathing. She was my heart and my reason for getting up every morning.”
Jack’s words hit closer to home than Harrison would’ve liked.
“So what happened after you turned down her invitation to attend the ball?”
“I’d underestimated how strong she was. And how determined. She didn’t give a damn what other people thought. She was proud of me, of the man I was, and wanted everyone to know it.” Jack raked his fingers through his hair as regret twisted his features. Even now, after more than three decades of wedded bliss, Harrison could see his uncle wished he’d behaved a different way. “My actions made it appear that I believed her choices were flawed. And that I didn’t trust her.”
“But she married you, so she must have gotten over it,” Harrison said.
“It took a year.”
Harrison could imagine what those months must’ve been like for his uncle. He was experiencing his own separation angst at the moment.
“You must have been really hung up on her to have stayed in the fight that long,” he said.
“You know, at the beginning of the year I don’t believe I understood what I was feeling. Plus, if I’d been truly in love or, more to the point, been willing to surrender my stubbornness and give in to my emotions, I might have saved myself a lot of pain.”
Harrison didn’t want to ponder an entire year away from London, so he asked, “Why did you keep going when she rejected you for a year?”
“Because to be without her hurt more than my foolish pride. I tried to stay away, but rarely lasted more than a week or two. Life got pretty bleak for me, pretty fast. It also made me more determined to be worthy of her. That’s when Crosby Automotive really started to take off. I threw every bit of my frustration and fear and joy into making something I could be proud of. I thought if I was wealthy and successful that I could win her back.”
“Did it work?”
Jack shook his head. “It made things worse. The better Crosby Automotive did, the more confident I became and the less she wanted to have anything to do with me.”
Harrison wasn’t liking where the story was going. “So what did it take?”
“She started dating someone perfect for her. A guy from a wealthy, well-connected family.” Jack’s expression hardened. “I fell into a dark well for a couple of weeks.”
“How’d you come out of it?”
“I weighed being happy for the rest of my life against my pride.”
“And?” Harrison didn’t really need to ask. He saw where his uncle was going. “What did it take?”
“The most difficult conversation of my life. I had to completely open myself up to her. Fears, hopes, how she made my life better and that I wanted to be worthy of her love.”
Strong emotion filled Jack’s voice even after three and a half decades. The power of it drove Harrison’s misery higher. His throat tightened, preventing him from speaking for a long moment.
Into the silence, his uncle spoke again. “Is what you feel for her worth fighting for?”
Could he live without London? Probably. Would it be
any fun? Doubtful. For so long racing had been his purpose and passion. He’d never considered that he’d sacrificed anything to be at the top of his game. But was that true?
With London he’d started thinking in terms of family and kids, and there was no question that she’d pulled his focus away from racing. The telling part was that he didn’t mind. In fact, he’d begun to think in terms of how he intended to make changes in his schedule next year to spend as much time with her as possible. He suspected that if this business with his brother hadn’t gotten between them, he’d be well on his way to looking at engagement rings.
“For a long time I thought so.” Harrison’s chest tightened at the thought of letting her go, but he couldn’t imagine how to get past the way she’d used him. He’d never been one to hold a grudge, but trusting her again seemed hopeless. “Now I’m not so sure.”
Eleven
A subdued and thoroughly disgraced London entered the Cocktail Club on King Street and searched the animated crowd for her best friend. Maribelle had grabbed two seats at the bar. As London made her way through the customers, Maribelle was flashing her engagement ring at a persistent admirer.
These days because of the magic of Maribelle’s true love glow, members of both sexes flocked to her. By comparison, London felt dull and sluggish. She couldn’t sleep, wasn’t eating and couldn’t remember the last time she’d exercised.
“Holy hell,” Maribelle exclaimed as London slid onto the bar stool beside her. “You look awful.” She narrowed her eyes and looked her friend up and down. “Are you ready to tell me what happened?”