“Sure, Tom,” she said, holding him, staying in his arms as they remained quiet. She couldn’t have regrets for their lovemaking.
She finally shifted slightly. “You can stay here in my bed tonight.”
Turning, he drew her against his side. “This seems right in so many ways.”
She kissed his shoulder lightly in agreement and felt a pang, wishing they could go back to where they could love each other freely. Where they could feel they were doing right by the other person and their marriage was good. For tonight it was an illusion and she could pretend, but tomorrow, she would have to live with the truth.
He held her close and she clung to him, her arm wrapped around his narrow waist. She wished she could go back a couple of years and have a second chance, because she could see how she had driven Tom away. She ran her finger along his jaw and tried to think about the present, tonight, about loving him and having him in her arms, and forget everything else for now. Tomorrow the problems would all be right there for her to live with and try to cope.
* * *
With morning he drew her into his arms to kiss her awake. It was two hours later before they showered together and more than another hour before they went their separate ways to dress.
After breakfast they mopped up where the rain came in last night.
“You have a working alarm system now, in the house and in the yard.”
“You’ve put motion-detector lights all over the place. The door locks all work. If you need to go to the ranch even for just a few days, go ahead.”
“If I have to go, I’ll tell you. Otherwise, I’m here for a while longer.” He turned to face her. “I’ll work outside now, so if you want me, I’ll be on the east side of the house.”
“I’ll paint inside,” she said and left him.
As Emily painted, she thought about living with Tom.
How would she cope when he walked out of her life? Would they say goodbye and never see each other again? Maybe she would see him at the Texas Cattleman’s Club. But if she didn’t like living in the old house she had inherited, she would move to Dallas. She would move if she got enough clients and business from the area. If she lived there, she didn’t think she would ever see Tom. There were questions about her future that she couldn’t answer.
Now, looking around her at the house she had inherited, the smell of fresh paint still filling the air, she thought about her future, when she would have to deal with another parting with Tom. This time a permanent one.
* * *
Saturday morning sunshine spilled in through the open windows and Tom was eager to wake Emily. Today was their picnic with the Valentines and he was excited. She’d told him to act as her human alarm clock if she slept past six thirty. It was ten seconds past six thirty now.
He stood beside her bed for seconds, looking at her sleep, her hair spread on the pillow, the sheet down to her waist, her breasts pushing against her T-shirt. He slipped beneath the sheet and pulled her into his arms.
She stirred, wrapped an arm around his neck and rolled over. He couldn’t resist. He kissed her. He started out in fun, expecting her to wake instantly, the way she usually did. But the minute he was in bed with her and had her in his arms, all playfulness left him and he wanted to make love to her. He knew he was weaving a web of trouble that would ensnare both of them when they moved on in their lives.
By eleven, after they’d made love, showered, dressed and had breakfast, they were ready to go. Tom was in jeans and a navy T-shirt while she wore capri pants and sandals with a red-white-and-blue-striped cotton blouse. Tom had spent the past half hour packing the truck with provisions for the picnic. Then they locked up the house, setting the new alarm, and left for Royal’s big park by the Texas Cattleman’s Club.
When they got to the park, Tom noticed Emily’s expression as she gazed out the car window. “Look at all the new trees,” she said. “They’ve replaced a lot of the ones that were destroyed by the tornado.”
“This is a great park. We could have gone to the Cattleman’s Club, but a lot of people there would have wanted to join us. Another time, that would be fun, but I want you to meet and get to know the Valentines when it’s just us and them.”
Emily had been chatting, but as he wound slowly alongside a silvery pond toward where he and Natalie had agreed to meet, she became silent, and he knew she was remembering the last time she had been in the park. “This is the way we used to come when we brought Ryan,” she said softly.
Tom glanced at Emily and pain stabbed him. She had her head turned away from him. He changed course and drove to a deserted parking area. He stopped the car, unfastened his seat belt and placed his hand on her shoulder. He hurt, and his pain was greater because he knew she felt it, too. She put her head in her hands. “I’m sorry.”
A knot in his throat kept him from answering and tears burned his eyes. He braced for her to tell him to leave her alone as he pulled her into his arms as much as he could in his pickup. She put her arms around his neck and clung to him, which made him feel better because he had expected her to shove him away.
“I’m sorry, Tom. I thought I could do this without tears. It’s a happy occasion and I’ve looked forward to meeting Natalie and her family a
nd I really mean that—” Emily couldn’t finish. She cried while he held her tightly, stroking her head.
“This is the first time I’ve been back in the park since Ryan was alive,” she said between pauses to cry. She spoke so softly he could barely hear her. “We all came here together, remember?”
“I know it, darlin’, and I wondered if this would tear you up. I’ve been here with Natalie and the kids once. This is the main park in Royal and where the Valentines always go. The kids love it here just like Ryan did.”
“Then it’s a good place to come. I’ll be all right in a minute.”