He stroked Simone’s hair. “Hush now. You’ll make yourself sick again.”
It took a long time, but finally, Simone wore herself out.
He wiped her face with the tail of his shirt. To explain would be to dump some of his anguish on her, but how else could he account for being so deliberately cruel? “I lost a mother and a baby today,” he muttered. It embarrassed him that his voice broke on the word baby.
Simone struggled to sit up. She stared at him with big, wet eyes. “Oh, Hutch. What happened?”
He gave her an abbreviated version. “I don’t think the patient ever really had a chance, but we tried. God, we tried. I kept seeing the nurses’ faces. It’s hard, you know. We’re supposed to maintain that professional distance...so we can do what we have to do. Loss of life in any circumstance is difficult beyond words. This...this was devastating.”
“The baby couldn’t be saved?”
“No. She looked perfect. Tiny, but perfect. Still, it was far too soon. Sometimes, even with all our sophisticated equipment and technology, we can’t overcome that. We save dozens of preemies, often against large odds. Today we lost. She lived for an hour.”
Simone—generous, openhearted Simone—wrapped her arms around him and held him so tightly he could barely breathe. Or maybe that was his reaction to knowing he had the love of his life in his arms.
She shuddered. “I can’t even imagine what it was like for all of you. I couldn’t do what you do. How does anyone bear it?”
He knew what she was thinking. “You don’t have to worry about your pregnancy, Simone. The woman today had a serious medical condition. You’re healthy and strong and perfectly normal.”
“I don’t think anyone’s ever called me normal.” Her smile was wry, her face still damp as she pulled back and stared at him.
He wanted to ease her down on the bed and make love to her to erase the memories of the day. But he felt raw and unsteady and light-headed. It was a time for caution. Simone didn’t deserve to be used as tranquilizer. He needed to take stock of what was happening.
Carefully, he released her and stood up. “Did you mention something about food?” he asked, trying to lighten the mood.
Simone’s face was hard to read. She rose as well, her posture defensive, arms wrapped tightly around her waist. And no wonder. He’d treated her like dirt. She shrugged. “It’s hot outside. I don’t know if we should risk it. Food poisoning is not fun.”
He winced. “True.” And in Simone’s condition, it could be lethal. “What if we drive through somewhere and grab a milk shake and fries?”
She raised an eyebrow. “For a doctor, you don’t seem to have a grasp of good nutrition.”
He knew she was teasing him. “After today, I think we could both use some junk food, don’t you? How about it?”
Simone hesitated. “I need to get home,” she said.
“You’re mad.”
“No.” She shook her head vehemently. “I forgive you. But the next two days are going to be tough. Dr. Fetter says I need to pace myself.”
“Of course.” He didn’t want to eat alone. He sure as hell didn’t want to sleep alone. But his outburst on the back porch had changed something. Maybe Simone was rethinking her relationship with him.
The awkward conversation ended there. Simone headed downstairs with him on her heels. Once she climbed into her car and started the engine, he leaned down, one hand on top of the car. “Are you sure you’re okay to drive?”
Simone nodded. “I’m good.”
He winced, remembering what else he had to tell her. “I’d hoped to do something fun with you tomorrow, but my dad needs me to help him in the garden. The man does love his fresh produce, but he overplanted his year.”
“No worries, Hutch.” Her gaze was guarded. “I’m going to be working flat out, too. I’ll see you Friday evening.”
“What time do you want me to pick you up?”
“Five thirty will work. I have to be there early. I could drive my own car, though,” she said. “No need for you to hang around.”
“I could help.”
She pursed her lips. “Maybe. What if I let you know tomorrow?”
“I’m picking you up, Simone. End of discussion.” His temper started a slow boil. Something had shifted. Was it the things he had said to her earlier? Had he damaged a relationship already on shaky ground? Or was something else going on?